


Tarian

by NemesisNyx



Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Cathar Culture, Cathar Mandalorian, F/M, Mandalorian Culture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2019-07-14 18:39:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 32
Words: 19,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16046282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NemesisNyx/pseuds/NemesisNyx
Summary: riduur - spouse, partnercyare - belovedNi kar’tayli gar darasuum - I love you; I'd know you forever





	1. Chapter 1

The first time Torian saw her she was accepting the mantle of Grand Champion. She had red hair, white fur, black stripes, red orange eyes, and an X shaped scar across her face. He found it surprising that a Cathar would be a bounty hunter let alone be willing to work with Mandalorians. But she had accepted the mantle with pride.

 

#

 

The first time Tarian saw him he was standing next to some asshole. He had red hair, green eyes, and the outline of his own skull tattooed on his face. She thought he was cute in an off-hand way but she was more focused on the belligerent one, Jogo. Her thought process was on how much fun it would be to break Jogo.

 

She fought the Sire of the Brood, succeeded and only gloated a little over Jogo.

 

“Go away. I thought I made it clear I didn’t want to talk to you.” Jogo sneered.

 

Tarian leaned in, whispered in his ear, her hand sliding over his stomach. “Talking isn’t exactly what I had in mind.” She remembered his shiver of anticipation, want, and a little bit of fear.

 

Some Mandalorians still slightly feared retribution from Cathar.

 

“What did you have in mind then?” Jogo’s eyes were interested despite his dislike of her.

 

Tarian smiled, her hands snaking to grip the back of his head, growling in appreciation. “I like a man that gets straight to the point.”

 

Jogo quietly lead her to his tent.

 

#

 

The first time Torian noticed her was at her Clan adoption party. And he was amazed at the sheer audacity of a Cathar being asked to join then accepting to become a Mandalorian, let alone the adopted daughter of Mand’alor.

 

He couldn’t reconcile this woman with the one he saw back in the Mandalorian camp on Dromund Kaas. He still hadn’t caught her name. He wanted to.

 

He was jealous of Jogo especially after seeing the cut and bruised lips. It was unfair.

 

#

 

The first time Tarian noticed Torian was at her Clan adoption party. Mandalorians knew how to party. She was enjoying herself and it was only a tad bit awkward with her being a Cathar.

 

She had asked Jogo what the ginger’s name was. Jogo had scoffed and answered.

 

Torian. Torian Cadera.

 

She made up her mind that she was going to get Torian Cadera is some shape or form.

 

#

 

The second time Torian noticed her; she was straddling him in an abandoned building on Taris. She nuzzled his face before letting him up and offering to let him share in her hunt for his father. He agreed.

 

#

 

The second time Tarian noticed Torian she told him her name.


	2. Chapter 2

Tarian was affectionate with her crew, typical with most of her species. She was always petting, touching, hugging, nuzzling, kissing Mako and Gault, Torian saw no reason he would be different. He knew it didn’t mean anything, he sometimes wished it did.

 

#

 

The first time they kissed was on Hoth. Tarian and Torian were tracking an extra bounty; they had stopped on a cliff. She was standing not on the edge but near enough to make Torian nervous. The ice gave way and she was falling, falling, falling. She was saved by Torian shooting her with her own grappling gun. He pulled her to safety.

 

Later, at the camp, Tarian approached him, stood on her tiptoes and pressed a firm, purposeful kiss to his lips with whispered thanks. The look in her eyes suggested it meant more than her usual affection.

 

#

 

The second time they kissed was after meeting Darth Tormen. Tarian had not appreciated the welcome the Sith gave her. The Darth reciprocated by choking Torian, warning her not to break his things again. Tarian agreed with disgust in her eyes.

 

Back on the ship, Tarian came to check on Torian, to see if his throat was damaged after Darth Tormen’s power display. She touched his neck, stroking her fingers over the bare flesh, lightly, not wanting to hurt him if he was bruised. The action caused Torian to shiver in anticipation; what he anticipated, he didn’t know. Without thinking, Torian caught her hand, pulled her in for a quick kiss. The kiss ended with a whispered ‘I’m fine’ and Tarian blinking up at him in surprise.

 

#

 

The third time they kissed was an accident; if a kiss could be described as such.

 

They had been flirting heavily off and on for a while and the result was the kiss.

 

It happened in the engine room, Tarian was cleaning out some rocks the ship had taken on during the last hyper jump. Torian went to ask if she needed help, she accepted. They lay side by side cleaning out rocks in companionable silence, occasionally cracking jokes at Gault’s expense since he wasn’t there to defend himself. During one particularly hilarious jab at the Devaronian, Tarian twisted her head to laugh into Torian’s neck, an arm slung playfully across his chest. She looked up, he looked down, their lips met of their own accord.

 

This kiss was different, hesitant but both participated, both instigated. Tarian’s hand glided up Torian’s chest to wrap delicately around his neck. Torian’s hand lowered from the engine to cup Tarian’s cheek. Their lips explored, tested, tasted, teased in wonder before a loud pop and a scream from Blizz broke the mood.

 

Pulling back, they gauged each other.

 

#

 

The fourth time they kissed was back on Hoth. Torian had been kidnapped; Tarian had gone to rescue him.

 

This kiss lacked all the subtlety from the first three times they kissed. A maelstrom of emotions. Torian’s gratitude, appreciation, need. Tarian’s exuberance, fire, want. They only separated when they needed to breathe.

 

“I like you.” Torian stroked Tarian’s face, her fur was so soft; he imagined the texture against his bare skin, shivered but not from the cold.

 

“I like you, too.” Tarian rubbed Torian’s head, wondering if his facial tattoo was the only one on his body.

 

“The ship or?” Torian was asking if her room on the ship was private enough or if she wanted to borrow a room from the Imperials or Ascendancy for the night.

 

“The fort.” Tarian knew damn well and good that they wouldn’t get alone time if they were on her ship.

 

“Works for me.” Torian lowered his head for another kiss, hands gripping either side of Tarian’s head.


	3. Chapter 3

The first time they had sex was on Hoth. Tarian had just saved Torian from the GenoHaradan.

 

They’d commandeered a room from the Ascendancy as a local Aristocra owed Tarian a favor.

 

For once, Tarian was not taking the lead. Torian had her pressed against the room’s door, hands roaming over body armor, the kiss all teeth.

 

Torian broke off the kiss to turn Tarian around, began taking off her armor, she purred.

 

“Is this ok?” Torian asked once their armor was off, both standing in the jumpsuits they wore underneath.

 

“More than fine.” Tarian smiled, wrapped a hand delicately around Torian’s head, pulled him in for a kiss.

 

Torian smiled against her lips, his hands divesting both of their jumpsuits as well.

 

Tumbling onto the bed, Tarian let him take the lead once more. This time was about him and whatever he wanted. It was slow to build, slow to complete; filled with need and loss; both conveying through deed what they truly felt.

 

#

 

The second time they had sex was after a farce of a trial on Voss. Tarian hadn’t wanted to admit it but General Redrish spouting the lies the Republic came up with to discredit her hurt. The fact that the Imperial she was working with believed the general over her was more hurtful. The Voss said nothing.

 

Tarian was not as focused as she was supposed to be about the hunt, she got injured by a shaclaw. Torian dragged her to a nearby cave to heal her wounds.

 

“We have to go after her.” Tarian sad thickly, tears threatening.

 

“It can wait.” Torian forced her to take her chest armor off so he could check the wound. It was angry gash that would heal fine after he put kolto on it. “You were distracted.”

 

“I know.” Tarian whispered.

 

“Hey,” Torian took her face in his hands, “we both know those were lies. The Voss probably do too since they have weird witch magic.” He wiped a tear away from her eye.

 

“But our contact believed her. It’s the same everywhere I go. I’m a Cathar so I’m not a person, I’m a monster. I’m a beast. I’m an animal.” Tarian sniffled. She didn’t want to cry in front of Torian but out of everybody he would be the most likely to understand; both Cathar and Mandalorians often being viewed as animals by the wider galaxy.

 

Torian did understand. “You’re not an animal.” He barked, more forceful than either of them would have expected. “You’re not an animal.” He said lower, tracing the stripes across her cheeks with his thumbs.

 

Tarian studied him. It was disconcerting how focused a Cathar could be suddenly. He felt a blush spreading over his face, thankful his tattoo hid it.

 

“I don’t deserve you.” Tarian said as she closed the distance between the two of them for a kiss.

 

“Yes, you do.” Torian said as his hands moved to her shoulders.

 

This time, Tarian stole the lead, all but ripping Torian’s armor off. She did tear his jumpsuit a little but he didn’t care, his hands were too busy getting her out of her leg armor. Finally, both being armor and jumpsuit free, she pushed him onto his back.

 

Torian would never forget for the rest of his life seeing Tarian lean over him, chest heaving, the feel of her thighs wrapped around his hips as a rock dug into his back. Her wild yowl as she came, how it mixed with his and bounced off the cave walls. How gloriously she was his in that moment; how he was hers.

 

#

 

The first time they made love was after Voss. Torian pulled her into the cargo bay, pressing a quick kiss to her lips.

 

“I’m in love with you.” Whispered across her lips as he leaned into deepen the kiss.

 

“I love you, too.” Tarian wrapped her arms around Torian’s neck, allowing him to deepen the kiss.

 

“Mandalore is your clan leader.” He kissed his way to her ear, nibbling the lobe, causing Tarian to shiver. “I don’t want to cause trouble for you.”

 

“I love you. Stop worrying.” Tarian gasped as he bit down on the top of her ear.

 

“Ni kar’tayli gar darasuum.” Torian whispered. “However long forever turns out to be. I’m yours.”

 

Tarian nipped Torian’s neck.

 

#

 

The second time they made love was on Corellia. Tarian had been working with Darth Tormen to find the former leaders of Corellia so he could ‘convince’ them to side with the Empire.

 

“Your representative, Darth Tormen.” Tarian spoke through her helmet presenting the Selonian leader.

 

 “Impressive, for an animal.” Darth Tormen made it unclear as to whether he was talking about the frozen Selonian or Tarian herself.

 

Tarian clenched her fists but made no remark, keenly aware of how powerful Darth Tormen was and how easily bruised a throat could be.

 

Darth Tormen dismissed her. She and Torian found a room with a bed to sleep in.

 

Hours later, Torian came back from the shower to find Tarian toweling off, brushing her fur, wearing a loosely fitting crop top that fell to just under her breasts and underwear. Torian couldn’t stop his gasp; she was so beautiful to him. All lithe muscle and quick reflexes. She was perfect.

 

Tarian turned her head, smiled when she saw him, came over to him, ran her fingers through his still damp mohawk that fell to one side. “You look so cute with your hair down, riduur.” Using one of the few Mando’a words she knew without grasping fully what she said.

 

“Beloved.” Torian’s hand rose to stroke her cheek.

 

“Hold me for a while?” She rubbed her nose along his jaw, one hand petting his skull, the other trailing lightly over his arm.

 

“Of course.” He let her lead him to the bed.

 

She gently pushed him down on it, placing his back against the wall as she straddled his lap, hands on his skull, her nose buried in his neck, his hands gripping her hips, as she purred.

 

After a few minutes of Torian holding her, he moved a hand to grab her hair, pulling her back enough so he could kiss her.

 

“Cyare.” He kissed the tip of her nose.

 

Tarian’s smile dazzled him. She bit his chin, licking away the sting before stealing his lips in a kiss. The hand on her hip slid to her ass, holding her in place as the kiss deepened into something more primal.

 

“Love me.” She breathed.

 

“Always.” Torian promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> riduur - spouse, partner
> 
> cyare - beloved
> 
> Ni kar’tayli gar darasuum - I love you; I'd know you forever


	4. Chapter 4

Tarian was drunk. Everybody had drunk too much after Corellia, not having a price over their heads was an excellent reason to pull out ne’tral gal.

 

Tarian carried poor Blizz around the ship, cuddling him like a teddy wampa.

 

When asked about why, she would just answer, “He is only the most adorable thing in the entire galaxy and I just love him so much!”

 

Blizz looked to Torian for help. Torian resolved to rescue the little guy.

 

“Hey, cyare,” Torian walked up behind her, leaned down to whisper in her ear. They had decided to keep their relationship a secret for now to avoid hurting Mako’s feelings. “You should let Blizz go. He’s having trouble breathing.” Torian danced his fingers up and down Tarian’s bare arms.

 

Tarian gasped, turned sultry eyes up to Torian. “He’s not the only one having trouble breathing right now.”

 

Torian half smiled. It was a game they played on the ship; how far they could go with flirting without rousing suspicions. “Really?” He took a step back.

 

“Really.” Tarian turned, faced Torian, kissed the top of Blizz’ head before putting the Jawa on the floor.

 

Blizz mumbled something about how Big Boss was crazy and ran.

 

Torian took a step closer, Tarian smiled before landing a punch to Torian’s stomach. He bent double, gasping for air.

 

“Gault! Torian is having trouble breathing!” She screeched laughing maniacally.

 

“I deserved that.” Torian chuckled past the shock.

 

“Yes, you did.” Tarian leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to Torian’s cheek.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ne'tral gal - Mandalorian black ale
> 
> Teddy Wampa - like a teddy bear but Star Warsesq (no apologies for this haha)


	5. Chapter 5

Tarian had Torian pinned to the cave floor. He didn’t know why he bothered wrestling with her when she always won.

 

“You’re not letting me win, are you, cyare?” She licked his ear.

 

“No.” Torian stuttered out. Who knew that his ears were so sensitive?

 

“Good, because I’d be very cross if you were.” Tarian kissed his nose before climbing off him.

 

They were back on Hoth for another bounty from the Ascendancy. The Ascendancy were excellent clients.

 

“Corridan contacted me.” Torian said, sitting up, propping his arms on his knees.

 

“Oh?” Tarian asked as she stirred the stew she was making for their dinner.

 

“Let me play you the message.” Torian pulled out his holo.

 

Corridan’s blue image flickered into view. “I’ve got a mission, thought you might want in on it. Clan Ordo’s been hired to kill a Senator who’s hiding out under major Republic protection. It’ll be a serious engagement. He’s gone to ground in a heavily fortified area. Worth a lot of credits too. If you’re interested, meet us at the Baliss estate on Alderaan. Corriden out.” The message ended, Corridan flickered out.

 

“You going?” Tarian asked, running a hand over her short hair.

 

“They’re my brothers. I need to be there.” Torian opened his mouth to argue his point. Ready to bring up points such as they took him in when nobody else would, Clan Ordo raised him as one of their own despite his being an areu’tal.

 

Tarian walked over to him, straddled his lap, put a finger on his lips. “I understand.”

 

Torian kissed her in gratitude. Tarian understood him as nobody else had.

 

The kiss swiftly developed into something more. Torian stood up, holding her in his arms as he walked to their tent.

 

“Dinner gonna burn any time soon?” He asked between kisses.

 

“No.” Tarian raked her claws down his back.

 

“Good.” Torian lowered her to their sleeping bags.

 

#

 

The next day, after the bounty was tagged and delivered to the Ascendancy, Torian looked at his chrono.

 

“Better get going,” Tarian said, looking up from her datapad, adding the finishing touches to the receipt. “Don’t want to miss the fight.”

 

“Thanks.” Torian took a step closer, intending to give her a goodbye kiss when Tarian’s eyes darted to the side.

 

Mako and Gault were overseeing resupply. Torian covered his blunder with a hug.

 

“Kill me something furry.” Tarian winked up at him.

 

“Will do.” Torian winked back waved at the others and left.

 

Tarian watched him leave through lowered lashes. Gault sauntered over.

 

“So, the kid finally unbent enough to give you a hug. Big step.” Gault started conversationally.

4

“We’re the same age, Gault.” Tarian rolled her eyes. It amazed her how Gault always assumed Torian was younger when he and Tarian were the same age.

 

“You’re both kids to me. So what?” Gault joked. “He admit he’s in love with you yet?”

 

“He what?” Tarian asked.

 

“That boy loves you. We all know.” Gault bent down to whisper in Tarian’s ear. “Skadge has decided that if he doesn’t do anything soon, Skadge will do it for him.”

 

Tarian shivered in revulsion. She had never liked Skadge but he was frightening and kept people from stealing her ship so he had his uses. “Thanks for the warning.”

 

“No problem.” Gault smiled smugly and left.

 

#

 

Torian pulled Tarian into the cargo bay, kissed her hard and deep.

 

“You’re back.” She smiled against his lips, ran her nose along his jaw line.

 

“Weren’t all so lucky.” Torian buried his nose in her hair; she had changed her hairstyle while he was gone. It was now a feathered mohawk framed by two rows of hair on each side. It suited her.

 

“Did Corridan make it through?” Tarian feared the answer; she knew how much Torian loved Corridan.

 

“Took a lightsaber strike, it glanced off his head.” Torian chuckled. “Didn’t care to find out first hand –never let them get close.”

 

“Dancing with a lightsaber’s a good way to lose weight.” Tarian pulled back a little, studied Torian’s face. Assured herself that he was fine. He was fine.

 

“Better find some beskar if I’m making a habit of it.” Torian’s thumbs traced the stripes on her cheeks.

 

“I missed you.” Tarian whispered, turning to kiss his palm.

 

“I missed you too, cyare.” Torian placed his forehead on hers.


	6. Chapter 6

Torian was off on another hunting trip with Clan Ordo. Tarian walked the ship aimlessly; she was between bounties at the moment, bored, carrying around a half cold mug of caf, and missing Torian.

 

“Hey, Tar, we got a bounty invite from the Imperials.” Mako said. Mako was tired of watching her best friend and boss mope around the ship. She mostly figured it was because Tarian was bored, she slightly figured it was because Torian was gone.

 

“No,” Tarian shook her head emphatically. “No Imperial contracts. We are doing Hutts, Ascendancy, independents, and the Black List. We are not doing Imperial contracts. Never again.” Tarian was referring to the deal she cut with Darth Tormen. That deal had almost killed her, Torian, Mako, Gault, and Blizz. Nobody really cared that it almost killed Skadge.

 

“But it’s on some planet named Ilum, and it’s to take out a Jedi Master Kaden.” Mako reasoned. Tarian had a problem with Jedi.

 

Tarian cast the cyborg a baleful look. “No means no, Mako. Tell them to get somebody else. There’s loads of Sith and agents that could kill Master Kaden.”

 

With that, Tarian took her cup of caf and went to her room.

 

Mako sighed and deleted the invite.


	7. Chapter 7

Tarian was lazing on her bed. Torian was gone again, this time to Voss, and the only job offer was from the Imperials. Tarian was still in her No Imperial Contracts mood. It had been a year since Corellia and the Darth Tormen affair but some wounds ran deep.

 

“Hey, cyare, I’m back.” Torian spoke from the doorway.

 

Tarian sat bolt upright in bed, happiness blossoming over her face as she looked at him. The ship was empty; she launched herself across her room, the force of her body making him stagger even as he caught her.

 

“Miss me?’ He kissed her.

 

“Always.” Tarian wrapped her body around his, hands clutching his skull, legs locked around his hips. “You were gone forever.”

 

“Ni kar’tayli gar darasuum.” Torian whispered, stroking a free hand up and down her back.

 

Tarian began purring, rubbing her nose along Torian’s jaw. She could never get enough of touching him in some form or fashion. “Show me you missed me.”

 

“Of course.” Torian stepped further into her room, closed and locked the door.

 

He had taken his armor off and stored his weapons before he came to find her. Now there was only her barely there underwear and tank top and his pants and muscle shirt that kept their bodies separated. But that wasn’t going to last for long.

 

Torian worked her tank top over her head, gazing hungrily, lovingly down at her furry flesh. His hand swept from her collar bone to her hip reverently, petting her in broad strokes. Tarian purred low in her throat, arching into his hand.

 

Neither cared that the crew could come back any minute and their secret would be out.

 

#

 

Tarian stood humming to herself in the galley. The crew had come back to hear Tarian and Torian demonstrating how much they missed each other, loudly. She was too pleased to care and was, in fact, making herself and Torian dinner. Both did care enough not to wander around the ship naked, so she put on a tank top and some shorts while Torian just put his pants on again.

 

She had been practicing fixing tiingilar and had been successful the last couple of times she made it.

 

“Cyare,” Torian leaned into the galley, hands holding him up on either side of the open doorway, “is that tiingilar I smell?” He sniffed the air and strode into the galley.

 

“It is.” Tarian smiled as she felt his bare chest against her the back.

 

“You learned to fix it for me?” Torian wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pressed a kiss to the side of her neck.

 

“I did.” Tarian stated smugly, offering a sample bite over her shoulder to her lover.

 

Torian’s groan of approval was all she needed to know that her tiingilar was delicious. A pleased smile broke out over her face.

 

“Marry me.” Torian murmured against her neck.

 

“What?” Tarian pulled away, turned to look up at him.

 

“Ni kar’tayli gar darasuum.” Torian said. This time the words took on a new meaning.

 

“Ni kar’tayl gar darasuum.” Tarian tried to say it exactly as he did but failed, Torian’s smile blinded her anyway.

 

He got down on one knee. “Will you marry me?” He didn’t have an offering, he just held up his hand, a supplication.

 

Tarian didn’t know how to answer. A simple ‘yes’ was out of the question. “About time you asked.” She smiled, placing her hand in his.

 

Torian’s face lit up, he pulled her to him, wrapping her in his arms before placing a hungry kiss on her lips. It took Gault clearing his throat in the doorway for the two to break apart; even then they stared defiantly at the older gentleman.

 

“Couldn’t help but overhear, is there going to be a wedding?” Gault asked impertinently, leaning against the doorway.

 

Torian and Tarian looked at each other before breaking out into happy giggles. “Yes.” They answered as one.

 

Gault smirked before turning his head and yelling, “Torian asked our sweet little Tarian to marry him. She said yes. There’s going to be a wedding, people!”

 

Blizz’ screech of joy and his continued assurances that he’d create the best gift possible. Mako’s yell of ‘it’s about time’ really surprised them.

 

“Well, I’ll leave you to it.” Gault smirked again and sauntered away.

 

Torian pulled Tarian’s face back in for a kiss.


	8. Chapter 8

The first time Torian broke Tarian’s heart was over a Cathar tradition. It was a tiny crack of a heart break.

 

She asked him if he wanted to be her life-mate. He politely declined. His reason? He didn’t want her to deny herself from falling in love again if he died. Tarian agreed with him but it still hurt.

 

#

 

It had taken a full year from the day Torian proposed for them to actually get married. Mand’alor insisted on being there to walk his daughter down the aisle, as much as a Mandalorian wedding had an aisle and an official officiate.

 

But Mako insisted that Tarian and Torian get married ‘properly’ as she put it. Mand’alor thought the entire idea had merit.

 

So here they were, on a beach on Rishi, Clans Ordo and Lok and others, plus the few Cathar relatives Mako and Tarian could convince to show up. Tarian would never forget the look of absolute shock on her aunt’s face when she was introduced to Mand’alor.

 

Finally, finally, Tarian was dressed in a traditional Cathar wedding dress –Mako’s idea, not hers –and was being walked down the aisles formed by the Mandalorians on the sand to Torian.

 

Mand’alor put Tarian’s hand in Torian’s, punched his shoulder and went to stand in the crowd.

 

“Mhi solus tome, mhi solus dar’tome, mhi me’dinui an, mhi ba’juri verde.” Torian’s voice rang loud and clear over the surf and others on the beach. The Mandalorians, for once, being absolutely silent.

 

“Mhi solus tome, mhi solus dar’tome, mhi me’dinui an, mhi ba’juri verde.” Tarian spoke slowly, the words still unsure on her lips even as she pronounced them perfectly.

 

The surrounding Mandalorians raised up a cheer that was as loud as their silence had been quiet.

 

Grinning from ear to ear, Torian leaned down and whispered in her ear, “I know you forever, cyare.”

 

Tarian squeezed his hand, kissed his cheek. “I know you forever, riduur.”

 

#

 

The wedding reception was the wildest party anybody had ever seen. Skadge had some pirate contacts and got some highly illegal, highly explosive fireworks; Clans Lok and Ordo got into a brawl over who would get to have Tarian’s first dance, the first dance always being gifted to somebody of importance to the bride. The Cathar quietly looked on, both repulsed and awed by the way that Mandalorians accepted their presence and Tarian into their midst.

 

The brawl became especially heated when an unknown pirate in the company of a rather large red monster loudly proclaimed he was Tarian’s first dance and everybody else could go to hell. The Cathar joined the fray.

 

When the hors d’oeuvre table got knocked over by the combined weight of a rather large Cathar male, the unknown pirate, and Vorten Fett, Tarian and Torian finally decided the fight had gone on long enough.

 

“Hey!” Tarian shouted, hands on hips, glaring dangerously at everybody from the middle of the dance floor.

 

The brawl stopped.

 

“For your information, Gault is the one I’m giving the first dance to.” Tarian gestured for Gault to join her.

 

Gault shook his head; Shae Visla shoved him onto the dance floor.

 

“Who are you dancing with, Torian?” Jogo –who had invited him?—asked.

 

“Me, of course.” A smooth Imperial voice sounded.

 

As one, everybody turned to see another Cathar. This Cathar was a Sith, evident by the lightsaber hanging from her belt.

 

The Sith sauntered up to Torian, gestured for the band –an impromptu makeshift band made up of Mandalorians and some local color –to start playing and waited for Torian to dance with her. Tarian and Torian shared a look, but neither would so openly defy a Sith.

 

“I came to apologize for my husband and Khem.” The Sith shot a glare at the mystery pirate. “He can never say no to a party, even if he isn’t invited. So, my apologies if he caused problems.”

 

“He only wrecked the hors d’oeuvre table.” Torian kept looking at his wife. His wife. Tarian. He smiled fondly at her.

 

“You really love her.” The Sith purred in pleasure, gazing happily at the way Torian looked at Tarian.

 

“Yes, I do.” Torian would never lie about that.

 

“Good. You take care of my cousin or I’ll rip your intestines out through your nostrils.” The Sith grinned.

 

Torian was unsure if the threat was a vague threat or a promise. “You’re cousin?” he squeaked.

 

“Don’t tell her.” The Sith winked. And, as the song drew to a close, stepped away. “I’ll be leaving now, taking my errant husband and Khem with me.”

 

The second song started and Torian found Tarian in his arms.

 

“Was that a Sith Cathar?” She asked, her head pressed against his chest as they swayed to the music.

 

“It was.” Torian kissed the top of her head, breathing in her scent.

 

#

 

Couples came and went on the dance floor as Torian and Tarian were too involved with each other to notice. Several more brawls started and finished. The Cathar that bothered to come and the Mandalorians found common ground. It didn’t hurt that the Mandalorians kept praising the way the Cathar could twist their bodies mid attack to get at another target.

 

“Hey, you two.” Mako touched Tarian’s elbow. “If you want to leave for somewhere more private, now is the time. Nobody is paying attention.”

 

Torian and Tarian looked around. Mako was correct. The party guests either passed out from alcohol, were being fleeced by Gault, or still having minor scuffles trying to sort out the better fighting techniques.

 

“Thanks,” Tarian reached out a hand to grasp Mako’s for a second before letting go. Looking up at Torian, she inclined her head. “Ready to leave?”

 

“Ready to have you all to myself.” Torian admitted.

 

Tarian chuckled softly before leading him off the dance floor and away from the party.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mhi solus tome, mhi solus dar’tome, mhi me’dinui an, mhi ba’juri verde - We are one when together, we are one when parted, we will share all, we will raise warriors. Mandalorian marriage vows


	9. Chapter 9

The beach on Rishi was beautiful at night. Made more so by Tarian’s naked body playing in the surf. She ran splashing through the waves, laughing, drunk on happiness as Torian watched her from the beach front hut. The hut had been a wedding gift from Gault and Mako, deciding that the newly married couple could use a home that wasn’t the ship. Tarian loved it. Torian loved it because Tarian loved it.

 

“Cyare, come here.” Torian held out his hand, eager to get to the wedding night activities.

 

“No! Come play with me!” Tarian stood waist deep in the ocean, the moon causing the water droplets in her fur to shine like diamonds.

 

Torian went to play.

 

He hadn’t played in the surf since he was a child but he felt childlike giddiness as he and Tarian splashed each other, as he chased her over the beach and through the waves, fingers barely touching her skin when she let him get close enough to her as she teased him.

 

Then she dived underwater and Torian stood stock still, waiting for her to pop back up, ready to lunge at her. What he didn’t expect was Tarian popping back up right in front of him to wrap her salt water wet body around his, pulling his face close for a kiss.

 

Tarian purred when she felt Torian’s need of her pressing against her stomach. “Impatient for the best part?” Her tongue darted into his mouth.

 

Torian groaned, used his hands to press her hips more firmly to his. “Don’t make me beg, cyare.”

 

“Never.” Tarian smiled against his lip, slung a leg around his hips, shuddered when his length rubbed against her folds. “Right now.”

 

Torian didn’t have to be told twice, he walked just far enough that neither would drown, laid her on the ground and entered her. Tarian arched against him, wrapping her other leg around his waist, claws scraping down his back. Torian took her lips in a frantic kiss, hands bracing himself so he didn’t crush her as he began moving subconsciously matching the movement of the waves; every time the waves crashed over his legs he’d rock into her, he’d pull out as the waves went back to the sea.

 

Tarian moaned, nibbled his neck his shoulders, her claws digging into his ass as he pumped into her harder, faster, driving both to the precipice.

 

The culmination caused both to scream completion into the night.

 

“Ni kar’tayli gar darasuum.” Tarian whispered into his ear.

 

“Ni kar’tayli gar darasuum, riduur.” Torian whispered back.

 

They lay together in the surf for a while longer, holding each other


	10. Chapter 10

Torian was acting suspicious.

 

“What are you doing?’ Tarian whispered in his ear.

 

Her husband yelped. She was the only one that could sneak up on him.

 

“Nothing, cyare.” Torian smiled.

 

Tarian narrowed her eyes. “Sure. Keep your secrets but I’ll find out eventually.”

 

Torian shook his head. “It’s a surprise, cyare.”

 

Tarian crossed her arms, chewing her bottom lip. “I’ll ask Gault.” Shrugging she went to find the Devaronian, skipping out of the cargo bay.

 

Torian shook his head at his wife’s antics. She really did hate surprises, but Gault didn’t know what Torian had got her.

 

#

 

“Hey, Tar,” Mako watched her friend spin morosely in the captain’s chair. “You doing ok?”

 

“No.” Tarian frowned at the console. “Torian is being suspicious and Gault doesn’t know why and it’s driving me to the crazy.”

 

Mako stifled a laugh at her friend. It was a well-known fact that the Cathar did not enjoy surprises. It was also well known that Torian enjoyed surprising her.

 

“I’m sure there’s a good reason.” Mako knew what Torian had gotten her.

 

“Bah humbug!” Tarian growled, crossing her arms and gazing moodily out the window.

 

#

 

Tarian hated her entire crew. Everybody was in on the surprise that Torian was doing but nobody would tell her. Not even Gault! And he was her second adopted parent. Tarian still giggled at the fact that the elderly scoundrel had called himself her Second Dad in front of Mandalor. Tarian loved that she had two father figures after growing up with zero.

 

But still, not even Gault would tell her what Torian had planned and she hated it. It was a conspiracy. She loathed conspiracies.

 

“Hey, cyare, come out here!” Torian shouted.

 

Tarian rolled her eyes, but dutifully got up so she could go into the main room. “What?”

 

“Happy Birthday!” Her entire crew shouted –even Skadge.

 

“Huh?” Tarian looked at her friends –and Skadge –in confusion. “It’s not my birthday.”

 

“We know, Tar.” Mako laughed, walking over, taking Tarian by the hand and leading her over to the holoterminal. “But we decided to get you a gift anyway.”

 

Tarian looked at the box sitting dead center on top of the terminal. It was too big to be a new blaster but too small to be new armor.

 

“You gonna open it or not?” Skadge demanded, sounding happy for once. It was terrifying hearing the giant being happy over something that wasn’t maiming or violence.

 

Tarian took a calming breath, reaching for the box, and realizing that it was just a lid placed on a box made to look like an intricately wrapped gift, she pulled it towards her. Taking off the lid she scrunched up her face, expecting glitter or confetti to explode into her face –she wouldn’t put it past her crew to do exactly that. Once the lid was off, that didn’t happen. Nothing exploded. Instead, Tarian heard a tiny mewl.

 

Her eyes shot open to see the cutest little Nexu cub. It was black with gray eyes. It was the cutest thing Tarian had ever seen.

 

“Awww!” She cooed as she reached for the cub. The cub came willingly, snuggling against her chest, purring.

 

“I got her young enough that the first person she saw she would bond with. Her eyes were closed when I put her in the box.” Torian rubbed Tarian’s lower back.

 

“So, she’s bonded to me?” Tarian rubbed her cheek against the Nexu’s head.

 

“Sure is cyare.” Torian dropped a kiss to Tarian’s head. “She’ll always remember you no matter what.”

 

Tarian turned and kissed her husband’s chin. “This is the best gift ever. Thank you!”

 

Torian blushed. “Anything for you, cyare.”

 

“ _Now Big Boss won’t get drunk and carry around Blizz no more._ ” Blizz laughed.

 

Everybody laughed.

 

“So, what are you gonna name her?” Gault asked, reaching out to pet the cub in Tarian’s arms. He pulled his hand back when the Nexu cub snapped at his fingers.

 

“Zyeha.” Tarian cooed at the cub, the cub purred harder. “Aww she likes it! You like your name, don’t you Zyeha?”

 

Zyeha yipped, bumping her head against Tarian’s chin.

 

“What’s that mean, cyare?” Torian smiled as he watched his wife interacting with the cub.

 

“It means ‘spike’ in Catharese.” Tarian stuck her tongue out as she smiled.

 

Mako rolled her eyes. “Of course, it does.”


	11. Chapter 11

Tarian knew that being angry at Torian was useless. He didn’t view it as important probably because his culture allowed remarriage; Tarian’s didn’t. Tarian was a terrible Cathar, she would be the first to admit that. She became a bounty hunter despite family objections, her own cousin joined the Republic military, he became really important from what Tarian could guess from the dispatches and constant requests she got to take him out. She ignored those, she wasn’t about to take out her own cousin even if the last time they saw each other was ten years ago. But she did want one tradition. She wanted a lifemate but Torian refused to do it.

 

Tarian recognized his objections. He wanted her to be able to find love again if he died. She understood it, but it didn’t mean she had to be happy about it.

 

“I’m fine, Zyeha.” Tarian rubbed her Nexu’s ears. She really loved her Nexu. Zyeha was two years old now and the best gift Tarian had ever been given. The Nexu always knew when Tarian was upset and who she was upset at. The Nexu would always growl at Tarian’s object of ire. Unless it was Torian, then Zyeha would piss in his boots.

 

Zyeha whined, butting her head against Tarian’s chin.

 

“What did you do?” Tarian smiled down at her pet. Zyeha only whined and butted her chin when she did something. “Did you piss in his boots again?” she whispered.

 

Zyeha did the Nexu version of a smirk. Tarian arched a brow.

 

“Ad be a Peyn*!” Torian’s shout rang throughout the ship.

 

Tarian looked at her Nexu knowingly before bursting into laughter. “Who’s my good girl?” She cooed. Zyeha purred and Tarian scratched between the Nexu’s back spikes. “You’re a very good girl but you might want to hide under the bed for a few minutes.” Tarian whispered as she heard Torian stomping up the stairs.

 

Zyeha meowed before scrambling under the bed.

 

“Where is that damn cat?” Torian thundered from the door.

 

Tarian wiped all traces of humor from her face. “What did my baby do?”

 

“Your _baby_ pissed in my boots.” Torian ground out. “Again.”

 

Tarian did laugh then, ignoring her husband’s glare as she collapsed on the bed in fits. “She only does that after you upset me.”

 

Torian’s eye began to twitch. “I know. Can’t you tell her not to do that?”

 

Tarian shook her head. “She bonded with me, it’s how she’s getting back at you for hurting my feelings.”

 

Torian frowned, approached the bed. “Is it really important to you, cyare?” He asked softly.

 

Tarian nodded. “It really is.”

 

Torian sat beside his wife, pulling her in for a kiss. “We’ll get it done after we meet with Darth Marr. How’s that sound?”

 

Tarian looked up at her husband of three years. “Really? You’d be willing to do it with me?”

 

Torian nodded. “I don’t like the idea of you never being allowed to love again if I die before you, but I understand it’s important to you.”

 

Tarian kissed his chin. “Thanks, riduur.”

 

Torian smiled, pressing a quick kiss to Tarian’s lips. “Anything for you.” They kissed again. “But could you try and teach Zyeha to not piss in my boots every time you get mad at me?”

 

Tarian giggled, pressing a quick kiss to Torian’s cheek. “I don’t think you can train a Nexu, but I’ll try.”

 

“Mako trained her to use a litter box.” Torian pointed out.

 

“True.” Tarian nodded. “Zyeha, come snuggle with mommy and daddy!”

 

Zyeha jumped on the bed, snuggling up behind the pair, licking Torian as a means of apology.

 

Shaking his head, Torian scratched behind the Nexu’s ears, pulling his wife, his love, his world firmer against his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ab be a Peyn - Mando'a for 'son of a Hutt'


	12. Chapter 12

_Ni kar’taylir darasuum gar.*_

 

The last thing Tarian said to him before Marr’s ship exploded.

 

I love you.

 

She had always been rubbish at speaking Mando’a but that came out crystal clear and perfect.

 

Torian couldn’t take it. She was gone and there was nothing he could do about it.

 

Skadge had went out early. Left one day after trying to steal all her things. Torian’s blaster and several blaster bolts had put a stop to that.

 

Blizz left soon afterwards. The little Jawa not wanting to admit he missed being carted around like a teddy wampa.

 

Gault stayed. And so did Mako. They refused to leave Torian alone. Despite the Mandalorian’s increasing horrible mood.

 

_Ni kar’taylir darasuum gar._

 

And, still, even Gault left eventually. Taking Zyeha with him.

 

Then it was just Torian and Mako.

 

But Mand'alore called. The call brought more heartache than relief. Mand’alore was Tarian’s adoptive father. But Mand’alore offered a chance for revenge against the people that took Tarian from him.

 

“I’ve got to go, Mako,” Torian tried to explain. He’d been trying to explain Mandalorian culture to the slicer for a while now.

 

“Tarian wouldn’t want you to throw your life away!” Mako reasoned.

 

“Tarian would understand!” He knew she would. He just knew it.

 

“Fine!” Mako screeched. “Go and get killed!”

 

Then Torian was alone. But that was fine. He was used to being alone. And without Tarian, there wasn’t a point being with people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ni kar’taylir darasuum gar - Mando'a for 'I love you'.
> 
> Teddy Wampa - Star Wars version of a teddy bear


	13. Chapter 13

Tarian woke up gasping. What the fuck had happened? The last thing she remembered was fighting the Emperor.

 

“Shhh, Tar, it’s ok.” A crisp female Imperial voice sounded.

 

Tarian knew that voice. She did. “Lana?” Was that her voice? Tarian’s voice didn’t sound right.

 

“Yes, I’ve got you.”

 

Tarian felt strong slender arms wrap around her, hold her up.

 

“We’re getting you out of here.” Lana assured the younger woman.

 

“We?” Tarian couldn’t think straight. She felt like she hadn’t slept in five years. Then she remembered the nightmares. Crying out, Tarian stumbled. “Is Torian here? Mako? Gault?” Tarian just knew they would help Lana. “Blizz?”

 

There was a pregnant pause. “No, they aren’t here.” Lana caged.

 

“Where are they?” Tarian felt another gut-wrenching pain shoot through her abdomen.

 

“You have carbonite poisoning, we have to get you out of here.” Lana leaned Tarian against a corridor wall. “Do you think you can walk?”

 

Tarian nodded, her eyesight slowly coming into focus. She saw Lana’s concerned yellow eyes. “I can walk.”

 

“Good. Because we’re going to need to run.” Lana nodded as Tarian struggled to stand upright.

 

“Good to go when you are, Sith.” Tarian tried to smile. It felt so weird smiling.

 

Lana cracked a smile at the old nickname and began running; Tarian following close behind.

 

#

 

Tarian collapsed the minute they got on the ship.

 

“What’s wrong with her?” Tora asked.

 

“She had carbonite poisoning.” Lana explained.

 

“Lana!” Tarian gasped. “I don’t think it’s just that.” She knew her body and something wasn’t right.

 

“Why is she bleeding?” somebody else shouted.

 

“I’m bleeding” Tarian panted. She felt a sticky wetness between her legs, she felt it, pulling her hand up she saw blood. “What?”

 

“Oh gods!” Tora shouted.

 

“I’m right here for you, Tar.” And Tarian felt Lana slowly lower her to the floor.

 

“I don’t understand.” Tarian murmured before she lost consciousness again.


	14. Chapter 14

Lana and Theron studied Tarian through the open door. The Cathar was curled into herself, looking out one of the many windows, arms wrapped tightly across her stomach as she cried silently.

 

“She needs her husband. What’s his name?” Theron murmured.

 

“Torian Cadera.” Lana replied. “But that would be a terrible idea.”

 

“Why? He’s the only one that could comfort her.” Theron frowned at his protégé. “Plus, he deserves to know about the miscarriage."

 

Lana sighed, rubbed her forehead. “She has enough heartbreak right now, she doesn’t need any more added to it.”

 

The Sith began walking away, she couldn’t stand watching her friend cry.

 

“What do you mean?’ Theron jogged to catch up.

 

Lana side-eyed Theron as the duo walked. “I know where her husband is.”

 

“Yeah. I gathered that much.” Theron rolled his eyes.

 

“And I know _who_ he’s with.” Lana emphasized ‘who.’

 

“Oh.” And Theron got it. “Yeah, no. Tar doesn’t need that right now.”

 

Lana inclined her head, humming low in her throat. “She needs another Cathar.”

 

“What?” Theron asked, confused by the sudden change in conversation.

 

“Since she can’t have Mandalorians, or her friends, then she needs another Cathar to comfort her.” Lana explained.

 

“Uh, well, we ain’t got none of those.” Theron scoffed.

 

“We have one.” Lana stated.

 

“If you’re talking about Major Jorgan-.” Theron began.

 

“I’m talking about Major Jorgan.” Lana cut him off.

 

“Ok. I don’t think you understand how much that is a horrible idea.” Theron said. “Tar is a Mandalorian Cathar. Jorgan is Cathar. If anything, he sees her as a blood traitor.” Surely the Sith would understand that; weren’t Sith all about blood traitors and revenge?

 

Lana hummed low in her throat again. “Right now, Tar isn’t a Mandalorian. She is a heartbroken little girl in need of comfort. And she will not accept it from me, and I very much doubt she’ll accept it from you. Her family is scattered to the four corners of the galaxy and it will take time to find them. I have yet to locate any of her old crew that isn’t her husband. She needs comfort, something familiar. And Aric Jorgan is perfect for that.” She crossed her arms, daring Theron to contradict her, when nothing was forthcoming, a smirk of victory graced Lana’s face. “You know I’m right.”

 

Theron groaned, ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, I know.” He kicked the wall. “Fine, I’ll find a way to somehow get him to comfort her.”

 

Lana nodded.

 

“We sure Bey’wan wouldn’t do?” His last-ditch effort at avoiding an exceedingly awkward request conversation.

 

Lana arched an eyebrow, the thought of Bey’wan comforting Tarian somehow offensive to the Sith.

 

“Alright. Alright.” Theron sighed, shoulders drooping. “I’ll find a way to convince Major Jorgan to forget about the whole Mandalorian-blood-traitor-Cathar thing.”

 

“I believe in you, Theron.” Lana smiled, placing a delicate hand on Theron’s shoulder.

 

“Yeah, yeah.” Shaking his head, Theron went to find Aric Jorgan, hoping that he would somehow find the words.

 

#

 

Aric Jorgan was not as oblivious as to the plight of Tarian as most people assumed. He knew something was off about her. Depression hung about the Commander like a cape. And her scent spoke of loss.

 

Aric knew she had a miscarriage. He also knew that her husband was missing, her family was gone, and her crew hadn’t turned up.

 

Wishing that there was another Cathar on base but knowing there wasn’t, Aric did what his mother always told him to do. He went to comfort a fellow Cathar.

 

“Hey,” He knocked as he opened the door.

 

“Oh, hey.” Tarian’s voice was small.

 

Aric could smell the tears she’d been crying.

 

“So, umm.” He was at a loss of what to do.

 

“You could give me a hug.” Tarian offered, still looking out the window. “I like hugs.”

 

“Ok.” And Aric smiled. He could give Tarian a hug.

 

He approached the bed, brow furrowing as he saw that Tarian had no intention of moving, sitting up, making hugging her easier. “Uh.”

 

“I’m not moving.” Tarian answered his unasked question. “It hurts too much to move.” Her arms tightened around her stomach.

 

Aric studied the younger Cathar for a few seconds before he reached a decision. He sat on the edge of the bed and took off his shoes. He laid behind Tarian, wrapping his arms around the younger woman, pulling her into his chest. This was more of a cuddle than a hug, but he’d deal with it. His mother taught him to help and he was helping.

 

When he felt Tarian’s body wrack with yet more silent sobs, he began purring, humming a Cathar lullaby as he stroked her hair.


	15. Chapter 15

**_I love you_ **

_Tarian watched as her ship flew away, leaving her to go down with Marr’s ship. But they were safe. All of them were safe._

 

_She didn’t bother stopping the sob that broke free of her throat. They were safe…….._

 

 

_“No!” Tarian cried as a lightsaber went through Mako’s chest, her best friend collapsing. “Stop!” As Gault’s body was crushed beneath a wall. “Please!” Blizz being thrown against a tree. “Please stop!” As Torian’s neck was broken…..._

 

 

_As he was run through with a lightsaber ………_

 

 

_As he was crushed underneath rubble……_

 

 

_As a blaster bolt took him down………_

 

 

_Impaled on Zyeha’s spikes…….._

 

 

_As he died in her arms………_

 

 

_No!_

 

 

“Torian!” Tarian bolted up screaming, wrenching away from whoever was holding her. It wasn’t Torian.

 

Torian was gone. Dead in so many nightmares.

 

Aric found Tarian curled into a ball, sobbing in the corner of her room.

 

“Shhhh.” He pulled Tarian onto his lap. “Shhhh.” He rubbed her back as Tarian, Grand Champion of the Great Hunt, Mandalorian, cried like her heart had been shattered into a million pieces.

 

Tarian didn’t know how long she sobbed in Aric’s arms, how many tears she cried, she didn’t care, she clutched at Aric, burrowing into his lap as far as she could go. She needed comfort. She needed it so badly.

 

#

 

Aric stared blurry eyed at Lana and Theron as they stared surprised at him. The Cathar wore only a pair of boxers as he stood in the doorway of Tarian’s room.

 

“What do you guys want?” He demanded. “I just got her back to sleep.”

 

“You just got her back to sleep?” Theron asked.

 

“Yeah, she woke up from a nightmare.” Aric shrugged. Nightmares happened after a traumatic experience and, well, Tarian had one hell of a traumatic experience.

 

“Major, what exactly are you doing in Tarian’s room?” Lana narrowed her eyes. The ‘practically naked’ was implied.

 

“I came to comfort her.” Now Aric was getting annoyed. “We’re both Cathar and it’s what I was raised to do.” He wouldn’t explain it other than that.

 

Lana nodded in understanding; Theron just shook his head as he tried to understand.

 

“Your clothes?” Theron pointed out.

 

Aric glared at Theron as he opened the door allowing the duo to enter the room. “You know how uncomfortable it is for Cathar to exist in salty wet clothes?” Aric had never seen somebody cry as much as Tarian did, her tears had soaked his shirt and most of his pants.

 

“Fair point.” Theron agreed; being human he could only imagine how uncomfortable wet clothes were for Cathar -and Bothans and Wookies his mind tacked on.

 

“Where is the Commander?” Lana asked.

 

“She’s in bed.” Aric scoffed, rolled his eyes, completely fine with standing around in his underwear.

 

“No, she’s not.” Lana pointed to an empty bed.

 

Aric closed his eyes, tilted his head to the side. “Refresher. She’s showering.” The Cathar jerked his chin in the direction of the bathroom.

 

“Hmmm.” Was all Lana had to say.

 

Theron said nothing, still trying to figure out how Major Jorgan could be fine with being practically naked in a stranger’s room in front of yet more strangers.

 

“You get used to it being in the military.” Aric shrugged, answering Theron’s unspoken question. “You’re not the only non-military person that’s asked how I could possibly be comfortable in front of strangers.” He shrugged again, taking a seat on one of the many couches in the room. “Might as well get comfortable. She’s crying in there, too.”

 

Lana and Theron sat.

 

“I hope you guys have good news.” Aric sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, looking exhausted.

 

“It’s good news.” Lana said.


	16. Chapter 16

There was not enough caf in the world to make Tarian feel normal like a person, or alive. Shuffling into the war room, she grunted good-mornings to people. It had been an awful past couple of nights and no amount of cuddling from Major Jorgan had helped. The poor man. Tarian really would have to thank him for his time but tell him it was fine if he wanted to sleep in his own bed. Or stop trying to fix her. She was broken and there was no fixing her.

 

“Hey, kurva’ri*, drink this instead of that, ok?” Aric lightly grabbed her cup of caf before replacing it with something else.

 

Tarian blinked up at him. “Major, we’re gonna have to have a small conversation when this meeting is over.”

 

Aric frowned. “Ok.”

 

Tarian blinked for a long second before she focused her eyes on the holoterminal.

 

“Is everybody here?” Lana asked as she entered the room.

 

There was a chorus of greetings. Lana nodded, then the Sith began the meeting.

 

#

 

Tarian zoned out of the meeting, too busy studying the red liquid in the cup Aric had given her. What was it?

 

She sniffed it, it smelled lovely. Figuring that Aric wasn’t trying to poison her, she took a tentative sip. Heat infused her body, a pleasant warmth spreading throughout her form.

 

“Mmm.” She closed her eyes and drank more of whatever it was Aric gave her. It was the best drink she ever had.

 

From then on, Tarian decided to focus on savoring the drink in her hand.

 

#

 

“Tar?” Theron’s voice drew Tarian’s focus back to the present, pulling her out of her drink dreams.

 

“Yes, Theron?” Tarian looked at the former SIS agent.

 

“Hylo wants to speak to you.” Theron had noticed his friend hadn’t been paying attention to the meeting, too focused on whatever it was that Aric gave her to drink.

 

“K.” Tarian flashed a smile, her first real smile since being unfrozen.

 

Theron watched her walk away with a raised eyebrow.

 

“Major Jorgan!” Theron called to the Cathar as he walked past Theron. “What did you give the Commander?”

 

“Just some Rendili caf.” Aric shrugged. “It’s grown on my home planet and it’s better tasting than the swill you offer around here.”

 

Theron arched an eyebrow. “Really?”

 

Aric shrugged again. “I have some in the cantina if you want to try it.”

 

With that, Aric walked away, he had to get to Zakuul.

 

#

 

“Hey, Hylo, what’s up?” Tarian looked at her chrono. She had to go talk to Bey’wan as well. Then somehow find time to talk to Major Jorgan.

 

“Commander!” Hylo always wondered at the woman that Gault had adopted as a daughter. Hylo was impressed. “I got a mission on Hoth for somebody that might be good for the Alliance.”

 

Tarian sneered. “Hoth? Ugh.” She had a weird relationship with Hoth. It was where Torian saved her, where they first kissed. It was where she saved him from the GenoHaradan. It was a place she did not want to go back to.

 

“Worth it if you can get him! He’s a Jawa. Brilliant little inventor.” Hylo figured hyping up the possible recruit would help Tarian get out of her own head.

 

“A Jawa?” Tarian narrowed her eyes. “Alright, I’ll go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kurva’ri - Catherese for sweetheart


	17. Chapter 17

“Major! A word, please!” Tarian had found Aric with the rest of Havoc getting their ship ready in the hangar.

 

“Of course, Commander.” Aric continued checking off his ready list; while he wasn’t sure if his subordinates knew he’d been spending the night with the Commander he didn’t want it to be on the rumor mill.

 

Tarian frowned at the older man. “What did you give me this morning in the war room?” She started with an easy question.

 

“Rendili Caf.” Aric flashed her a smile. “It’s what we drink. It’s the only caf I can tolerate drinking. It has a milder taste, more caffeine, and doesn’t need to be sweetened. I figured you’d like it.”

 

Tarian chewed her bottom lip. “I did like it.” She said after a while.

 

“Good.” Aric flashed her another smile.

 

Tarian took a moment to study the older man. He was only twelve years older than her. Or twelve years older than what she was supposed to be.

 

“Was there something else, Commander?” Aric asked, looking around to locate his subordinates.

 

“I wanted to inform you, that while I am thankful for your help in,” she stopped as she tried to come up with an excuse, “in rearranging my quarters, there is no longer a need for you to do so.” There, if anybody had ever saw him enter her quarters. It was a thin excuse that didn’t account for just in case anybody saw him exit her quarters.

 

Aric stopped, put his datapad on the nearest crate of grenades. “No longer necessary?”

 

Tarian realized she might have made a mistake. “I have decided it’s a lost cause and forcing you to keep helping me is well,” she looked at her feet. She was never any good at expressing herself with words. It was why she picked being a bounty hunter to begin with. “You just don’t have to anymore is all.”

 

“Did you find somebody else?” Aric asked, his voice quiet.

 

“What?” Tarian snapped her head up, meeting his green eyes. “No.” She shook her head. “Who else would put up with me?” Trying for levity, she gestured at herself.

 

Aric looked around before grabbing Tarian’s wrist and yanking her inside Havoc’s ship, through the main rooms and into the armory.

 

“Do you know why I’m helping you?” He asked after he gently flung her into the room, following her and locking the door.

 

Tarian emphatically shook her head. Had she done something to anger him?

 

“Because it’s what _He_ would have wanted!” Aric hissed.

 

“I don’t know who ‘He’ is.” Tarian felt lost.

 

“Your cousin. My former CO.” Aric boxed Tarian against the wall.

 

Tarian noticed several things. Aric’s green eyes weren’t one hundred percent green, the iris was pumpkin orange, the sclera* was lime green, despite being forty years old, he still looked young, and his body was definitely fit.

 

“Your former CO?” Who was the CO before Aric took over again?

 

“Your cousin. Beirgin Thak.” Aric looked into Tarian’s eyes, saw when comprehension dawned.

 

“Bear-bear? Bear-bear was your CO?” Tarian hadn’t heard about her cousin Beirgin* since before she got frozen.

 

“Yes.” Aric sighed. He took a step back.

 

“Oh.” Tarian hugged herself. Yet another person she knew gone. She felt more alone than ever.

 

“Shit!” Aric smacked himself on his forehead. He just told Tarian that her cousin was dead. “Hey, hey, it’s gonna be ok.” He pulled her into a hug, pressed her face into his shoulder.

 

“I’m alone.” Tarian sobbed. “I’m so alone.”

 

Aric’s claws came out, he scratched her back, her scalp, he kissed her forehead. “You’re not alone. You got me, ok?”

 

Tarian nodded, hands clutching his shirt, crying for the hundredth time in five hours.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sclera - the whites of your eye's fancy science name
> 
> Beirgin -means 'solider' b/c laugh reasons, it's Irish (i went back through all my trooper toons and found the correct spelling of his name and discovered the origin so yay! also, i should really check stuff)


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Xesh- is Star Wars for 'x'. You know when you get to create your toon and one of the scar choices is a strange cross/x scar that goes across the right cheek? That's the scar Tarian has.

Tarian really wished she had hair long enough to twirl around her finger. She had started growing it out right before she got frozen. It was much longer than the mohawk she had favored for the longest time, but it wasn’t long enough.

 

“You nervous?” Aric asked, sensing the younger woman’s unease.

 

Tarian nodded. “What if it’s not him?” She whispered.

 

Aric placed his hands on her shoulders. “Kurva’ri, what if it is?” He leaned down to look in her eyes. His thumbs rubbed soothing circles.

 

Tarian shrugged, biting her bottom lip.

 

She had told Aric about the recruitment of two new Alliance members on Hoth and how one was a Jawa. When he asked why she was upset about the prospect of recruiting a Jawa she had told him about Blizz. Now she was nervous. What if it was Blizz? What if it wasn’t Blizz?

 

They stood on the gangplank of the Havoc ship. After she had cried herself senseless, they had exited the armory to see Aric’s squad looking at them, him specifically. Kanner especially giving her CO the stink eye. Aric had sighed, crossed his arms, then ignored his crew as he led Tarian back outside.

 

“I wish you could go with me.” Tarian admitted. Something about Aric made her feel safe. It probably had something to do with him being Beirgrin’s best friend.

 

“I know, skae tieriz*, I know. But I have to go back to Zakuul.” Aric petted Tarian’s head, noticing how soft her red hair was.

 

Tarian frowned up at him. “I am not little.” She pouted, playfully shoving him away from her.

 

Aric chuckled. “You are to me.” He smiled down at her as she frowned.

 

“Whatever.” Tarian rolled her fire colored eyes as she poked him in the stomach, a smile playing across her lips.

 

“You worried about me?” Aric couldn’t help the smile that stretched across his lips.

 

“If something happens to you who will fix my caf?” She asked cheekily.

 

“Oh, I’m regulated to fixing your caf now, Commander?” Aric scoffed.

 

Tarian shrugged. “You shouldn’t have introduced me to Rendili caf, Major.” Pushing his shoulder lightly, the smile on her face grew. “So, yes, you’re regulated to caf duty.”

 

Aric sighed in feigned annoyance. “Fine.”

 

Kanner yelled that Havoc needed to take off.

 

“You’re coming back, right?” Tarian asked, suddenly serious.

 

“I have to.” Aric placed a hand on her shoulder. “I promised you wouldn’t be alone.” Promising he wouldn’t ever leave Tarian alone was the only way he could get her to stop crying.

 

Tarian nodded, chewing her bottom lip again. “Make sure you keep your promise, Major.” Placing her cheek against his hand on her shoulder, she closed her eyes, breathing in his scent.

 

“Of course.” Aric pulled her in for a quick hug. “Better go or Kanner is gonna kick my ass.”

 

Tarian arched a brow. “Ok.” She smiled up at him.

 

Aric smiled back, hand cupping her cheek, rubbing a thumb over the xesh* scar across her cheek. He kissed her forehead. “I’ll keep in touch.” He said it against her forehead, giving her another quick forehead kiss.

 

“You better.” Tarian wrapped her hands around his head, scratching his scalp. “I need to hear stories about Bear-bear.”

 

“And for me to fix you caf.” Aric rolled his eyes as he extracted himself from her embrace.

 

“That too.” Tarian giggled a little.

 

Aric mussed her hair before turning and entering the ship.

 

Tarian walked off the gangplank, going to stop a safe distance, standing next to Bey’wan, her and the Bothan watching Havoc take off.

 

#

 

Theron wasn’t so much as watching the strange interaction between Tarian and Major Jorgan as studying Lana. The Sith oozed self-satisfaction.

 

“Care to explain why I feel your smugness, Lana?” Theron asked his counterpart.

 

Lana side-eyed him, her face breaking into a smug smile. “Figure it out, Theron.”

 

Theron narrowed his eyes. “Why are they oddly affectionate with each other?”

 

Lana arched a perfectly shaped blonde eyebrow. “Do you know nothing about Cathar society?”

 

Theron pinched the bridge of his nose. “Honestly? No.”

 

Lana rolled her eyes, began walking out of the hangar. “Cathar society requires touch. So much communication between them being nonverbal, through scent, and through little touches.” Lana looked over her shoulder at Theron. “Despite being Mandalorian, Tar is a Cathar, she was raised by her Cathar grandmother I believe, so she grew up with random touching. You’ve noticed how she always feels the need to high-five people.” She waited as Theron nodded. “The fact that Tar and Major Jorgan are currently the only two Cathar on base means that they created their own mini Cathar society. It’s why they’re oddly affectionate with each other.”

 

Theron bobbed his head side to side while he thought about that. “Ok, but that doesn’t explain how quickly their society came to be.” From what Theron knew of Aric Jorgan, the Cathar was slow to trust.

 

Lana sighed. “Theron, Aric’s former CO was Beirgin Thak.”

 

“Yeah.” Theron knew that.

 

“Beirgin Thak is-was Tar’s cousin.” Lana explained as she would a child.

 

“Ah.” And Theron understood.

 

Tarian trusted Aric because he used to work with a family member, Aric trusted Tarian because she is the cousin of his former CO, a man the Cathar worked with for five years.

 

“Are you going with her to help recruit the two hopefuls on Hoth?” Lana asked after a while, checking her datapad.

 

“I thought I would.” Theron scratched the back of his head. Again, he was too focused on making Tarian’s life better to notice her life was getting better.

 

“Good.” Lana graced Theron with a smile, it was only marginally condescending.

 

“So, they see each other as relatives?” Theron asked, his mind wandering back to the Tarian/Aric equation.

 

Lana turned to focus solely on Theron. “No. And you can ask Tar herself, but they do not see each other as relatives. Honestly, Theron.”

 

Theron blushed. “Ok, but what about the husband?”

 

Lana frowned, her face morphing from one of tentative happiness to deep rooted anger. “Mandos do have divorce.”

 

She left Theron with that bit of information, briskly walking away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> skae tieriz - Catharese for 'little bit'


	19. Chapter 19

If anybody was wondering why the Alliance commander was carrying around a Jawa, nobody was brave enough to ask. Especially since Blizz, the Jawa, seemed to have pulled Tarian out of her constant funk, and he seemed to enjoy it. At least a little.

 

“I’m glad it was Blizz that was the Jawa.” Lana said over her cocktail.

 

“Why?” Koth had never seen a Cathar, let alone a Jawa before joining the Alliance so he was unsure what the relationship between the two species would be, but he was fairly certain carrying a Jawa around like a teddy Wampa was just a Tarian thing.

 

“Because Blizz used to be on her crew.” Lana explained.

 

“Oh.” Koth nodded, feigning understanding.

 

“So, we might have a problem.” Theron plopped down next to Lana at the bar.

 

“That would be?” Lana arched an eyebrow. Not to belittle Theron, but a problem to him was hardly a problem to the Alliance.

 

“Major Jorgan might have been injured on his last mission to Zakuul.” Theron cringed.

 

Lana set her drink down carefully on the bar. “How injured?”

 

Theron avoided her gaze.

 

“How injured, Theron?” Lana narrowed hers.

 

“Broken ribs, cracked shoulder. Nothing too serious.” The ‘but’ was unspoken.

 

“But he can’t help Tar.” Lana pinched the bridge of her nose.

 

“Maybe she doesn’t need it since Blizz is back?” Koth asked helpfully. He didn’t understand Cathar very much.

 

Lana spared the former Zakuulan pilot a baleful glance. Koth held up his hands in surrender.

 

There was a peal of laughter from the other side of the cantina, all three turned to see Tarian hugging Blizz to her chest as the Jawa squealed he was being suffocated.

 

“You guys noticed she started smiling more since Major Jorgan, right? It’s not just me?” Koth asked, smiling as Tarian held Blizz at arm’s length.

 

“Yes.” Lana said ‘yes’ like she meant to say ‘obviously’ or ‘duh’ or ‘told you so’.

 

Theron just rolled his eyes, with Lana it could mean all three at once.


	20. Chapter 20

Everything on Aric hurt. He was, possibly, getting too old to continue as he was. He was a Major, when he first joined the military at sixteen, he never thought he’d make it this far. Maybe it was time to retire? After Arcann was defeated. He’d retire then.

 

Grunting, he slowly walked off the ship, mind already racing with what he had to do. Restock the munitions, get Kanner a new gun, replace Torg’s chest piece, met with Tarian and give her a debriefing about the mission.

 

He had found himself thinking of the Alliance leader often while on mission. Sure, they had kept in touch through email and the occasional holo call, but Aric wanted to see Tarian in person.

 

That had to wait though. He had mandatory things he had to do for his squad.

 

#

 

“Major!”

 

Aric looked up as he entered the cantina to see Bey’wan waving him over to a corner table. Aric arched an eyebrow, Bey’wan was sitting with Hylo, a Jawa, and Doctor Lokin. Interesting lunch companions.

 

“Major Jorgan!” Doctor Lokin toasted Aric with his drink.

 

“Doctor.” Aric nodded at the doctor while sliding into the booth next to Bey’wan.

 

“Jorgan.” Hylo smiled absentmindedly at him.

 

“Viz.” Aric returned her distracted smile.

 

“Major, I’d like you to meet Blizz. Blizz, this is Major Jorgan. The recipient of the newest grenade you were talking about designing.” Bey’wan explained.

 

Comprehension dawned on the Cathar. Blizz, one of Tarian’s former crew members, brilliant inventor if a bit excitable if Aric remembered correctly.

 

“Blizz.” Aric extended his hand for a handshake.

 

“ _Cat-man!_ ” Blizz said excitedly. “ _You cat-person just like Big Boss!"_

Hylo covered her mouth to smother a laugh, Doctor Lokin’s eyes crinkled, Bey’wan looked heavenward.

 

“Yes.” Aric agreed as he and Blizz shook hands. “I am a Cathar just like the Commander.”

 

Blizz nodded, pleased that he had labeled Aric correctly. “ _Cat-man helping Big Boss be less sad? Mako told Blizz one time that Big Boss needed other cat people so she wouldn’t feel so alone._ ” The Jawa took a drink of whatever steaming liquid was in his cup.

 

“Uh,” Aric scratched the back of his head. “The Commander and I have our own miniature society, if that’s what Mako meant.” He had no idea who Mako was, but she was spot on about the fact that Cathar needed other Cathar.

 

Blizz nodded even more enthusiastically. “ _Then Cat-man and Blizz are friends. Anybody that is close with Big Boss is Blizz’ friend._ ”

 

“Thanks.” Aric looked over at Bey’wan.

 

The Bothan couldn’t decide if he was amused, confused, embarrassed, or annoyed. Bey’wan had noticed how close his friend and the Commander were, their display in the hangar couldn’t be ignored but Bey’wan didn’t know exactly how _close_ close was with Aric and Tarian.

 

The table was silent, only Hylo’s occasional chuckles could be heard over the lunch crowd.

 

“So, about that new grenade,” Aric started.

 

“ _Yes! It go boom! Big boom! Sucks in many enemies before explosion!_ ” Blizz near shouted.

 

Aric wondered if he could purchase some ear plugs if he was going to be around Blizz often, the Jawa was extremely excitable. Aric wondered how Tarian had put up with the Jawa’s constant yelling, Cathar females have better and more sensitive hearing than males.

 

“It’s a combination of a grav round and a plasma grenade?” Aric asked.

 

“ _Grav round yes!_ ” Blizz nodded his head so hard Aric might’ve glimpsed a part of the Jawa’s face. “ _Plasma grenade no._ ”

 

Blizz stood in his seat, climbed up on the table, walked across to sit on the table next to Aric’s elbow. “ _See, it like this_ ,” the Jawa pulled out a schematic from his robes. “ _It can’t be plasma because plasma explodes the minute it hits something. My grenade has to suck in many enemies first. So, grenade has timer._ ”

 

Aric read over the schematics, chewing his bottom lip. The grenade was straight forward for having two steps. “How quickly can you make these for me, Blizz?”

 

Blizz squealed in yet even more excitement, standing up to jump up and down on the table. Aric and Bey’wan covered their ears as the Jawa continued his high-pitched squeal.

 

“ _Blizz can give Cat-man the first batch in three days._ ” Blizz finally shouted. “ _Good news! Blizz has already tested the grenades on nasty pirates on Hoth!_ ”

 

“Wonderful!” Aric said, not brave enough to uncover his ears just in case.


	21. Chapter 21

Tarian was trying not to worry. Aric was injured on his last mission to Zakuul. All of Havoc was injured. She recognized it was the life of a soldier, but it still made her feel terrible. She sent people out to be injured.

 

“Tar,” Theron touched her shoulder, “you’re worried.”

 

Tarian’s smile was pained. “I keep sending people out and they keep getting injured.”

 

When Tarian had been a bounty hunter with her crew, and while she wasn’t the only one that ever got injured, she was always there, beside her friends -and Skadge- getting injured with them.

 

“They signed up for this.” Theron stated.

 

Tarian frowned at him. “That doesn’t make me feel better, Theron.”

 

Theron scratched his nose. “Well, uh.” He was at a loss of what to do.

 

Tarian huffed, crossed her arms, and sank deeper into her seat.

 

Theron studied her. Sure, having Blizz back helped. It didn’t help much, but it helped. Tarian was slowly becoming the old Tarian he knew before she got frozen but there was still a piece of her missing and the former SIS agent couldn’t help but think that that piece was tied into her husband.

 

Massaging his implants, Theron knew that whatever pieces had been assembled due to her closeness with Aric and having Blizz back would shatter the minute Tarian saw Torian again. Theron’s biggest fear would be that the Alliance would need the Mandalorians and that Torian would be there.

 

Theron worried for Tarian. He worried for her immensely. She was twenty-eight but still looked and acted twenty-three, having been denied five years to mature. He saw the way she perked up, her worry immediately forgotten. Glancing over to the cantina entrance, Theron saw Major Jorgan walk in.

 

Ah. Of course. Major Aric Jorgan, best friend to Tarian’s lost -dead- cousin and fellow Cathar.

 

“Commander, Theron.” Aric nodded in greeting as he reached the table.

 

“Major.” Theron inclined his head.

 

“I heard Blizz hurt your ears a few days ago.” Tarian winked at her fellow Cathar.

 

“How can you stand it?” Aric rolled his eyes, sliding into the booth next to Tarian.

 

Tarian giggled. “I had him create me special ear-buds.” She knocked Aric’s shoulder with her own. “And before you ask, I told him to make both you and Bey’wan some as well.”

 

Aric breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you!”

 

Tarian’s response was to smile.

 

Theron studied the two Cathar across from him. Maybe, just maybe, when Tarian found out the truth about her husband she wouldn’t shatter. Maybe, just maybe, she’d be fine. And if she did shatter, Theron knew that there would be somebody to help her pick up the pieces again.

 

“Shit.” Theron banged his head on the table. He would have to tell Lana, the insufferable Sith, that she was right. And he hated telling her she was right, about anything.

 

“You ok there, Theron?” Tarian asked.

 

Theron looked up to see identical looks of concern on his companions’ face.

 

“Yeah, just realized I have to tell Lana that she was right about something.” Theron smiled wryly.

 

Matching expressions of pity and commiseration crossed Aric’s and Tarian’s face.

 

“Oh, Theron. I am so, so sorry.” Tarian reached across the table, holding Theron’s hand.

 

“Thanks.” Theron really hated his life sometimes.


	22. Chapter 22

Theron decided watching Tarian pace was a lot like watching a tennis match. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and -Theron shook his head. It was hypnotizing is what it was.

 

“Should we, uh, maybe ask her if she’s doing ok?” Koth looked at Theron. 

  

Theron rubbed his implants. “We could, but I don’t think it’ll help.”

 

Koth sighed, but silently agreed.

 

Tarian was worried, insanely worried. Aric, her one connection to her lost family, the one person that was able to pull her out of her funk, was missing. The Alliance’s communication with both Havoc and Kaliyo cut off suddenly.

 

“Maybe she needs a distraction?” Koth supplied.

 

It had been three hours since the communication was cut and Tarian had been pacing the entire time.

 

Theron turned to look at the former Zakuulan pilot, Koth had a point.

 

“You’re right.” Theron turned and started walking into the hangar.

 

“I’m what?” Koth asked, trying to catch up.

 

“You’re right.” Theron looked at his cuff. “I need to ask Hylo a question.”

 

#

 

Tarian understood that Hylo, that everybody, was trying to distract her from her worry. That did not mean that she had to like it.

 

“What is this about?” Tarian narrowed her eyes at Hylo. “Who do I need to meet?”

 

“Oh, just somebody that knows what he’s about. You’ll like him.” Hylo smiled mysteriously.

 

Which only made Tarian more suspicious.

 

Tarian entered the game room, took a few steps inside only to be bowled over by a large furry animal.

 

“Zyeha?” Tarian looked up into the eyes of her Nexu, the Nexu whined before licking her face. “Zyeha!” Tarian shouted.

 

“Ah, Tar, I told your Sith friend that Zyeha knew you.” Gault’s voice sounded by the card table.

 

“Gault!” Tarian looked past her excited pet to see her second adopted father.

 

“She wanted to kill your pet. You should have a word with her about her violent tendencies.” Gault smirked at Lana.

 

“Tar, just because he says it was tamed does not make it so.” Lana was pissed. She lost at cards and now the scoundrel was trying to lambaste her.

 

“Lana, why would an untamed Nexu be around Gault without eating him?” Tarian had a puzzled look on her face she looked up at her friend. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

 

“She probably wanted to kill the Nexu because she’s allergic.” Theron stated from the doorway.

 

The look Lana shot him confirmed what he said.

 

“Nobody is killing me baby!” Tarian cooed at Zyeha. “Isn’t that right? Who’s my good girl? You are!”

 

Zyeha yipped*, wiggling her large Nexu body in happiness.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zyeha/Nexu- I have no idea what noises/sounds Nexu would make, so i just figured they'd make combined noises of dog and cat.


	23. Chapter 23

The fist came out of nowhere. One minute, Aric and Kaliyo were at each other’s throat and the next Kaliyo was on the ground, holding her jaw.

 

“Tarian!” Lana exclaimed.

 

Tarian didn’t listen, grabbing Kaliyo’s collar, she picked the Rattataki off the ground.

 

“Don’t you **_ever_** disobey a direct order from me ever again.” Tarian hissed in Kaliyo’s face. “I don’t know if your actions are what got them killed or if you just made a shitty situation worse, but you do not and will not disobey a direct order ever again. Do you understand me?”

 

Kaliyo sneered, opening her mouth for some form of acerbic comeback when two growls sounded. One came from Tarian herself, the other from Tarian’s feet.

 

That’s when Aric noticed a rather large black Nexu standing waist high next to his fellow Cathar and Commander.

 

“Down, Zyeha, I’m sure she doesn’t mean to upset me.” Tarian narrowed her eyes, growling as she spoke. “Do you understand me?”

 

The sound of ripping fabric could be heard as Tarian’s claws ripped through Kaliyo’s clothes.

 

“Yes, Commander, I understand.” Kaliyo spat, venom dripping from each word.

 

“Don’t make me kill you.” Tarian’s voice held promised violence. “You put any more of my people in danger and I will.”

 

Tarian released Kaliyo suddenly, the Rattataki staggered before righting herself.

 

Aric, Tarian, Theron, and Lana watched as Kaliyo straightened her clothes before walking away.

 

“Was that really necessary?” Lana asked.

 

“A hunt only goes flawlessly if everybody involved follows the same directions.” Tarian said.

 

With that, Tarian left the hanger.


	24. Chapter 24

She was awake again, walking the base with Zyeha at her heels, nodding at the night workers, wishing she could sleep, knowing the nightmares were going to wake her again.

 

She wished she had Aric. He would always hum to her when she woke from a nightmare. But he just buried four of his squad. He had his own problems to deal with. He didn’t need to deal with her nightmares.

 

#

 

Aric couldn’t sleep. His failure. His failure to account for the collateral damage that Kaliyo was fine with on any mission the Rattataki went on.

 

He stood on one of the many balconies the base had. It was the only place he could get away from people. Torg was still alive, but Torg was in the infirmary with a broken arm and an almost shattered face, his traditional Kaleesh bone mask was the only thing that had saved Torg’s face from caving in.

 

“Couldn’t sleep?” Tarian’s quiet voice spoke from beside him.

 

Aric sighed. “Having a bit of trouble.”

 

Tarian nodded, one hand on the railing, the other one resting on Zyeha’s head.

 

Aric looked her over, she wasn’t sleeping. And he cursed himself. She’d been having nightmares since being unfrozen, his radio silence and the knowledge that he almost died weighed on her. Aric knew firsthand what happened every time the Alliance lost somebody. Tarian’s nightmares would increase. Every time somebody got injured, she’d lose sleep.

 

Tarian was taking the loss of Aric’s squad mates hard. Despite yelling at Kaliyo, Tarian would view Kannar’s, Abbeth’s, Dengril’s, and Xaban’s death harder than perhaps Aric himself.

 

He wanted to ask if her nightmares were worse because of his failure.

 

“What happened to your hand?” he asked instead.

 

Tarian looked at the hand on the railing. “I broke it punching one of the Sith earlier.”

 

Aric knew exactly which Sith it was. Xalek was interesting to say the least. Aric had witnessed several awkward moments between Xalek and Torg already. “What happened?”

 

“He disobeyed a direct order.” Tarian shook her head. “I know it’s stupid to keep harping on obeying orders and everything, but you know what happens when they’re disobeyed.”

 

Aric slowly turned Tarian towards him, placing his hands on her shoulders. “I’m here if you wanna talk about it.”

 

Tarian took that as an opportunity to wrap her arms around Aric’s torso, hugging him. Zyeha snuffled Aric’s leg before laying down next to their feet.

 

“Xalek and Qyzen were sent on a mission. Those two oddly work well together. It was a scouting mission for a Star Fortress on Alderaan.” She rested her chin on his chest and looked up at him. “I told them not to let the Eternal Empire know they were there. Xalek and Qyzen both decided to blow up an Eternal Empire camp.” She re-positioned her head, rubbing her nose along his collarbone. “They got away and nobody was hurt but what if there’s repercussions? What if the Eternal Empire attacked the poor innocent people of Alderaan?”

 

Aric rubbed Tarian’s back. “So, you punished Xalek by punching him in the face. What did you do to Qyzen? You punched him too?” He wondered if Tarian launched herself to be able to reach the Trandoshan’s face or if she stood on a chair.

 

“I punched him in the nuts.” Tarian looked up at Aric again. “I wasn’t about to jump just to punch him when his crotch was right there.”

 

Aric threw his head back and laughed.

 

“Do you think you can sleep now that you’ve talked about it?” Aric asked, between chuckles.

 

Tarian shrugged. “Will you cuddle with me?”

 

Aric nodded. “Of course, I will. Anything for Bear-bear’s cousin.” He fluffed her hair.

 

Tarian stuck her tongue out at him.


	25. Chapter 25

“Great job.” Tarian smiled at the Jedi Padawan that Force-lifted fallen crates in the hangar bay. “Really great job, Ganda. Tell Lana I said you can get the rest of the day off.”

 

Ganda smiled and thanked Tarian.

 

Inclining her head, Tarian left the hangar, another crisis averted.

 

Gault scoffed as he watched Tarian leave. “She used to be more affectionate, ya’know.”

 

Aric grunted in response. He had no idea why Tarian’s old crew enjoyed hanging around him so much. Hylo must be busy if Gault was hanging around the military people.

 

“Hell, she used to even hug the droid when it finished cleaning.” Gault continued, ignoring Aric’s lack of response. “No, something is wrong with our girl.”

 

“Our girl?” Aric asked despite himself. Not that Gault needed an excuse to talk his victims’ ears off but Aric was trying to do work and couldn’t spend the time to concentrate on the Devaronian, not that Gault seemed to notice or care.

 

“Apologies, my fine furry friend. My girl, your lady.” Gault winked at Aric.

 

“Your girl?” Aric ignored the ‘your lady’ part.

 

“She’s like the daughter I never had!” Gault smiled wistfully. “Clever, a schemer, knows a good deal when she sees it. I was so pleased when Hylo told me she was alive. That’s why I came up with that plan to rob the Zakuulan Empire. Nobody hurts my little girl and gets away with it.”

 

Aric nodded, all of Tarian’s old crew were oddly protective of the woman. Hell, people in the Alliance were oddly protective of Tarian. Something about Tarian made people want to protect her. Not that she couldn’t protect herself, but people didn’t want her to.

 

“Could it be she misses Torian?” Gault mused aloud, rubbing his chin. “No, that can’t be it. She was affectionate before she met Torian, so it has to be something else.”

 

Aric listened with half an ear as Gault tried to reason out why Tarian wasn’t affectionate. Aric could’ve told him. Tarian was afraid to get close to people in case she died again. She saw the heartbreak in both Gault and Blizz when they found out she was back.

 

Hell, Tarian wasn’t even affectionate with Aric outside of their cuddling to keep the nightmares at bay. Aric was always the one hugging her, petting her, dropping a friendly kiss to her forehead or cheek. Sure, Tarian responded but she never started the affection, she just replied.

 

“She’s afraid of hurting people if she dies!” Gault’s sudden realization caused Aric to jump.

 

Aric glared at the man. The Cathar was trying to calibrate grenades and any bad movement could blow up the entire hangar.

 

“Apologies again.” Gault took a step away from Aric. “But I’m right, right?” He gave Aric a sidelong glance.

 

“Yes.” Aric gave up trying to calibrate the grenades, couldn’t do it, not if Gault continued talking at him.

 

“Well, we gotta fix that.” Gault stated.

 

Aric arched a brow. Again, with the ‘we’. We. Our. Us. Since when did Aric constitute as a part of the collective that was Tarian’s old crew?

 

“We?” Aric asked.

 

“Yeah, she’s your lady and my little girl. We gotta make sure she’s doing one hundred percent.” Gault clapped Aric on the shoulders, forcing the Cathar to walk with him. “We can scheme over drinks. My treat!”

 

“Scheme?” Aric asked, looking at Bey’wan for help.

 

Bey’wan just smirked and shook his head.

 

“Blizz can join us too. And the blonde Sith -what’s her name?-Lana.” Gault’s arm somehow found its way across Aric’s shoulders, guiding the reluctant Cathar out of the hangar. “We can all discuss over drinks how we can get our Tarian right as rain.”

 

Aric sighed. Lana and Blizz were involved there was no way he could just sit through one drink.

 

“Come on, Major Jorgan, less dawdling, more drinking!” Gault pointed towards the ceiling.

 

Reluctantly, very reluctantly, Aric allowed himself to be pulled along.

 

#

 

Gault remembered when he noticed the change in Tarian’s and Major Jorgan’s relationship.  It was when Tarian punched the Rattataki Kaliyo in the face. Yes. Major Jorgan’s body posture changed subtly and ever since then, unbeknownst to the grumpy Cathar, Major Jorgan had been acting differently towards Tarian. And Tarian, that sweet, sweet child, started responding.

 

Gault didn’t remember when he and Blizz first started talking about it. It might’ve been over cards, it might’ve been over drinks, it might’ve been over planning a heist. But he and the Jawa discussed how Tarian seemed listless, not herself, even if she did have her Nexu and two of her crew back.

 

Gault vaguely remembered when he and Blizz decided that Tarian was listless because she was lonely. That happened over drinks one night. And it seemed like a great idea to pair Tarian with somebody. And that lucky somebody was Major Aric Jorgan. Both Gault and Blizz noticed the way the older Cathar watched Tarian, how protective he was of her, all the little signs of affection.

 

Wouldn’t it be easy, they said to each other, to set those two up? Yes, they agreed, yes, it would.

 

So here Gault was, trying to get Tarian and Major Jorgan together like the fabulous parent he was.

 

#

 

Tarian watched with increasing interest as not only was Aric sitting with Gault but also Blizz and Lana. Aric could be found sitting with Blizz, the Jawa and the Cathar rather liked each other. But Lana and Gault? That was mildly suspicious.

 

“Theron, what do you think they’re talking about?” Tarian jerked her head at the table in the far off corner.

 

“They’re talking about you, Tar.” Koth smiled placing a drink in front of her.

 

“How do you know that?” Tarian asked, as far as she knew, Koth had been behind the bar the entire time.

 

“Bartender, I know everything.” Koth waggled his eyebrows. Tarian giggled, as was the desired effect. “Blizz came to get them drinks and happily told me they were talking about you.”

 

Tarian snorted a laugh. “Oh, that Jawa.”

 

Theron arched an eyebrow but said nothing.

 

“Theron, do you ever not work?” Tarian arched a brow before turning to look at Koth. “Does he even work while you guys are in bed? Or during sex?”

 

Koth nodded his head. “Yeah, and Lana sometimes has to shock him to get him to focus on the task at hand. Or in hand.”

 

Koth’s wink had Tarian banging her hand on the bar laughing.

 

“No!” She snorted.

 

“Must you talk about our sex life?” Theron glared at his boyfriend.

 

“Oh, come on! I have to live vicariously through you.” Tarian punched Theron in the arm. “Let him talk. So, details!”

 

#

 

All four occupants of the table looked up at Tarian’s loud peal of laughter.

 

“What is going on over there?” Gault asked.

 

“Koth is talking about our sex life. Theron is objecting. Tarian wants all the juicy details.” Lana shrugged one shoulder.

 

“Oh?” Gault arched a brow.

 

“Koth mentioned how sometimes I have to shock Theron to get his attention. What Koth didn’t mention was Theron has an electricity kink so my shocking him works in Koth’s and my favor.” Lana smiled secretly. Nobody at the table needed that explained.

 

“Could we please focus on the mission?” Aric pinched the bridge of his nose. He did not want to hear about the sex lives of one of the strangest couples he’d ever met. The fact that Lana, Theron, and Koth were in a polyamory relationship was not what made the couple strange. No, what made the couple strange was that all three were so completely different with nothing in common that Aric and others wondered, often, how it worked. Speaking of polyamory, he’d have to call his sister and her two wives soon. “I thought we were here to talk about how to get Tarian less depressed.”

 

“Oh, are we making you uncomfortable, Major?” Lana’s smile was slightly demented.

 

Aric didn’t answer.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, Lana, Theron, and Koth just seem like the perfect couple to me. No apologies. Search your feelings, you know it to be true.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. I made myself sad with this chapter.

Tarian could feel her world shattering, her heart breaking into a million little pieces.

 

Six years waiting for Torian.

 

One year of ignoring Lana’s then Gault’s then Blizz’s tactics for trying to set her up with somebody, anybody.

 

All boiled down to this moment.

 

Torian. He smelled strongly of somebody else.

 

So strongly of another female.

 

And he didn’t recognize her voice through her helmet.

 

It hurt.

 

Everything hurt.

 

Zakuul had taken that last possible thing it could take from her.

 

It took her love.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, i was told the other day by one of my friends that Darvannis is like a year after the Outlander gets unfrozen. So 5 years in carbonite then 1 year of being Torianless.
> 
> https://torcommunity.com/guides/game-basics/timeline
> 
> ^time line for references^


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies, again.

“Major Jorgan.” Lana’s voice sounded more stern than usual.

 

Aric excused himself from the conversation he was having with Bey’wan and Hylo.

 

“Yes?” Aric never knew how to address Lana, she didn’t enjoy being called Lord, and she refused to go by Ms Beniko, so he often just did what Tarian and Theron did, call her by her first name.

 

“You might want to be in the hangar bay when Tarian’s shuttle comes in.” It was not a suggestion.

 

“Alright.” Aric said it slowly and wondered just why Lana singled him out.

 

Lana inclined her head and left, stalking away, mumbling something in Sith.

 

Now that was interesting. Lana only mumbled in Sith when she didn’t want to be understood as she was the one of the three people on base that understood it. The other two being Doctor Lokin for some strange reason and a complete nerd named Talos Drellik.

 

“Hylo, you know when Tarian’s shuttle is landing?” Aric asked the Mirialan smuggler.

 

“ETA was in about two hours.” Hylo answered, looking at her datapad. “Why?”

 

“I have been suggested to be there when it gets in.” Aric shrugged and sat back down at the table.

 

Bey’wan and Hylo exchanged glances.

 

“I’ll tell Gault to bring Zyeha as well.” Hylo offered.

 

Aric nodded in thanks. Gault was in charge of Tarian’s Nexu when Tarian was on missions she couldn’t or didn’t want to bring her pet. Although, lately, Zyeha had been escaping Gault’s supervision and coming to find Aric.

 

“Good.” Aric took a sip of his caf. “Because I feel like Skae Tieriz* is gonna need it.”

 

#

 

The shuttle ride was awkward.

 

Tarian kept waiting for Torian to recognize her. Her blasters, her voice through the helmet, the way she stood. Anything.

 

But he never did. He didn’t recognize her.

 

Tarian was not going to cry.

 

#

 

Something about the Commander of the Alliance was familiar to Torian but he couldn’t place it.

 

The blasters looked like Tarian’s but that couldn’t be right. Tarian was dead, dead for six years and no amount of wishing could bring her back.

 

Plus, there was Jolene. Torian was lucky he found Jolene.

 

#

 

Aric stood as close to the docking bay as he dared, Zyeha sitting at his feet, both waiting for Tarian to disembark.

 

Zyeha whined, butting her head against Aric’s hip.

 

“Shh, ena ay ohzro’o srd ii serura*.” Aric calmed the Nexu with a hand, speaking Catherese.

 

Strangely enough, Zyeha calmed. Aric’s brow arched, Tarian spoke to the Nexu in Catharese, maybe Tarian wasn’t such a horrible Cathar as she claimed.

 

Hearing the airlock hiss, both Aric’s and Zyeha’s head whipped to the ship’s gangplank.

 

Tarian stalked down the gangplank and she wasn’t alone. A Mandalorian with a red mohawk and an elaborate facial tattoo followed behind her.

 

Zyeha whined again, tail wagging as Tarian approached.

 

Aric picked up the scent of tears and the sound of sniffling just before Tarian ripped her helmet off, plunking it hard on the ground as she walked straight into Aric’s arms.

 

Aric ignored the gasp from the other Mandalorian, focusing only on Tarian’s whispered request.

 

“Get me out of here.” Her eyes were brimming with tears.

 

Wordlessly, Aric nodded. “I know just the place.”

 

With his arm wrapped around her shoulders, Aric turned, slowly leading her out of the hangar, Zyeha following closely at their heels.

 

#

 

Torian couldn’t believe his eyes. The Mandalorian he had fought with on Davarnis was Tarian. She was alive.

 

“Well, my boy. You done fucked up.” Gault’s dry tone, filled with veiled malice.

 

Torian turned to look at the Devaronian. “I beg your pardon?” What had he done?

 

Gault did something nobody expected. The dandy Devaronnian marched over to Torian and punched the Mandalorian right in the face.

 

“I told you years ago that if you ever made my little girl cry, I’d make your life miserable.” Gault shook his hand, he hadn’t punched someone in years. “Consider that your warning shot.”

 

And with that, Gault left the hangar.

 

Torian stood numb on the gangplank. He deserved the punch. Hells, he deserved more than a punch.

 

He broke Tarian’s heart. Just how could he explain to his first wife he remarried?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ena ay ohzro’o srd ii serura: Catharese, "she'll be out in a minute"
> 
> Skae Tieriz" Catheres, "little bit"


	28. Chapter 28

Aric seethed. The object of his ire was standing in front of him and requesting to speak to Tarian.

 

“What?” Aric ground out, hoping he heard wrong.

 

“I’d like to speak to Tar.” Torian said. “Please.” He tacked on.

 

Aric could feel his eye twitching and his temple pumping. “She is currently indisposed. Also, she doesn’t want to speak to you.”

 

Torian studied the older man. Aric Jorgan hated Torian, Torian could tell. Why though? Torian’s mind glossed over the fact that Aric was shirtless and guarding Tarian’s door.

 

“Alright.” Torian said instead, turning to walk away.

 

Aric watched the Mandalorian leave. He knew hating the guy was dumb, but Aric couldn’t help it. Torian had broken Tarian’s heart and something about that bothered Aric. It bothered Aric immensely.

 

#

 

It had been a week since Torian had waltzed back in Tarian’s life and life at the base had gone almost completely back to normal. It was only awkward if Torian and Tarian ran into each other, and basically everybody was running interference so that didn’t happen. Lana had enlisted the entire Enclave and the Dashade monstrosity from Doctor Oggerub to act as sensors for Torian. And Aric had even noticed the Dashade always being in the same room as Tarian. Somehow Bey’wan had convinced Torian to help Hylo with shipping when the Mandalorian wasn’t training with the rest of the soldiers.

 

Still, Aric worried. Tarian had been there for him after everybody but Torg had died and Aric wanted to be there for her.

 

“ _Cat-man_!” Blizz cried as he climbed up on the table.

 

“Blizz.” Aric was exceedingly glad Tarian had gotten the Jawa to make him special earbuds to block out the higher pitches of Blizz’ voice.

 

“ _Blizz want to show Cat-man the new grenade he design_!” Blizz pulled out a schematic from one of his many pockets.

 

Aric looked over the schematic. Blizz was wasted in the shipping hanger, the Jawa should be working with Bey’wan and the science division.

 

Aric’s focused was pulled away from the schematic at the sound of Tarian’s laugh. She was sitting on the floor of the cantina scratching Zyeha’s back between spikes, the massive Dashade close by.

 

“ _Cat-man like Big Boss?_ ” Blizz asked suddenly.

 

Aric’s eyes snapped back to the Jawa’s face -or as much as one could ever see of a Jawa’s face. “Why do you ask that?”

 

Blizz cocked his head to the side. “ _Cat-man watches Big Boss. Same way Big Boss’ husband watched Big Boss_.” The Jawa nodded his head.

 

Aric did not know what to say at this turn in the conversation. Blizz was oddly observant. Which, Aric corrected himself, the Jawa had been around Tarian for close to five years.

 

“Well, mates are usually aware of each other.” Aric coughed. “And Cathar are predators, so tracking movement and sounds is part of our nature.”

 

There was a pregnant sort of silence from the Jawa. “ _Big Boss and husband were never mates. Not according to Big Boss._ ” Blizz scratched his arm. “ _They talked about getting ceremony done but then Big Boss die._ ”

 

Aric paused. The ‘die’ could only mean Tarian being frozen in carbonite for five years.

 

“ _Blizz thought that Big Boss and husband would get it done when she found husband, but he already got new wife._ ” Blizz shrugged - of course, the Jawa would know about that, Blizz had probably hacked into Torian’s datapad. “ _Blizz certain Big Boss is lonely. Big Boss need somebody to take care of her. Blizz think Cat-man best choice._ ”

 

“Uh.” Aric blinked in confusion.

 

“ _Blizz like Cat-man. Big Boss like Cat-man. Horn-man like Cat-man. Cat-man would be good match for Big Boss._ ” Blizz nodded once, emphatically.

 

“Thank you.” That was the only thing Aric could think to say.

 

Blizz made a chittering noise that Aric had labeled as a laugh before focusing back on the schematic.

 

#

 

Aric lay next to Tarian in her bed. They often slept next to each other to stop the nightmares, the whole Cathar needed comfort thing but after what Blizz said earlier in the day, Aric wasn’t so sure he was comforting Tarian because of their species’ social mores, as a favor to Beirgin, or if because Aric had developed feelings for her.

 

Tarian muttered in her sleep, restless.

 

“Shh.” Aric said, beginning to purr and stroke her hair.

 

Tarian calmed, purring in response before falling back asleep.

 

#

 

Torian looked at the holo of Jolene and their children. His children, the one thing he and Tarian seemed never to be able to have.

 

He knew that everybody was making sure he and Tarian didn’t interact outside of meetings. And he understood that, he really did.

 

But he needed to explain that he was ordered by Manda’lore to remarry, to have children, make sure that Mandalorians survived into another generation after the Eternal Empire almost decimated their ranks.

 

The love he felt for Jolene came afterwards, after the third child.

 

“I’m sorry, cyare.” Torian felt a tear run down his cheek. He wasn’t apologizing to Jolene. He never called her that.

 


	29. Chapter 29

Tarian frowned at the targets. She hadn’t hit the bullseye. Not even once. Her shots were all over the place.

 

“Hey, Tar.” Torian spoke quietly from behind her.

 

“Torian.” Sighing, she rolled up the paper.

 

Torian glanced around, trying to find Tarian’s Dashade bodyguard. “May we talk?”

 

“Sure.” Tarian leaned back against the railing. “Talk.”

 

Torian took a deep breath. He hadn’t dared to think he’d get this far. “I’m remarried.”

 

“I know. I scented her on you the minute you walked into Shae’s tent.” Tarian really didn’t want to have this conversation.

 

“You need to know why I remarried.” He looked down and away. “Manda’lor, your adopted father ordered me. The Eternal Throne was decimating our ranks and he ordered basically every single and childless Mandalorian to get married and have kids.”

 

Tarian chewed on her thumbnail. “You can have children without being married. The child is still considered a part of the Clan.”

 

Torian pinched the bridge of his nose. Tarian knew all about Mandalorian customs. “I know. And we didn’t get married until after the third child.”

 

“You fell in love with her.” It wasn’t a question. She finally looked at him.

 

“Yes.” He answered anyway.

 

Tarian nodded, hugging herself. “Shuk’la riduurok*, Torian. You’re free now and your marriage is legal.”

 

She walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shuk'la riduurok: Mandalorian, translates to "a broken love", divorce basically


	30. Chapter 30

Tarian stared into space. Odessen was beautiful, it was a real shame she failed to notice. 

 

She was divorced.

 

Single. 

 

Divorced.

 

Cathar didn’t get divorced.

 

But Mandalorians did.

 

She was having an existential crisis.

 

Tarian didn’t know which identity she should currently go with. Her Mandalorian one; her Cathar one. She was biologically a Cathar and she’d never been very good with Cathar traditions or anything having to do with the Culture. But she adopted the Mandalorian Culture.

 

She didn’t know what to do. She honestly didn’t.

 

Another thing. Divorcing Torian didn’t hurt as much as she thought it would, as it should’ve. 

 

Had she not been in love with him? 

 

And her feelings towards Aric. What even was that? She rather liked the older Cathar. He was kind, attentive, strong, a great cuddler. He understood her better in the short amount of time than Torian did in the five years they were together.

 

“What is wrong with me?” Her eyes started tearing up. She always cried when frustrated. It was an annoying trait she wished she didn’t have.

 

She wanted so badly to talk to somebody. But nobody would understand.

 

“Hey, Tar,” Lana’s voice sounded behind her.

 

Tarian swiped her tears away. “Yeah?” Thankfully she didn’t sound like she had been crying.

 

Lana paused, concern lacing her voice. “Tar, are you quite alright?”

 

“Hmm?” Tarian turned to face her friend. “Yeah. I’m fine.” Nobody needed a Commander that couldn’t sort her own life out. “Just, uh,” think of a probable lie, “for some reason my allergies are being attacked and I’m unsure why.” Smiling to play off the lie.

 

Lana narrowed her eyes, but she had no proof that Tarian was lying. “Alright.” She held up the datapad. “Hylo wants to talk to you about recruiting a Wookie. Back on Zakuul.”

 

Tarian nodded. “A Wookie. On Zakuul.” She tried to conjure up an image of all the Wookies she had ever met being on the planet she barely saw. “Huh.”

 

Lana smirked. “Yes, it’s hard for me to imagine as well. But he owns a cantina that also hosts gladiatorial fights.”

 

Tarian frowned. Gladiatorial fights. That meant slaves most likely. She didn’t want to pair with somebody that dealt with slaves.

 

“I know what you’re thinking! All his fighters are former slaves that stay on to help him free more slaves.” Lana hurriedly explained.

 

Tarian arched a brow. Now, that was interesting. “Does Hylo want me to stop by the hangar first or just go?”

 

“Stop by the hangar.” Lana said, sending a message to Hylo that Tarian would be there in a second.

 

“Headed there now.”

 

Lana watched as Tarian walked away. 

 

#

 

Tarian and Theron stood glaring at each other.

 

“Take. Some. Back-up.” Theron said through clenched teeth.

 

“Why?” Tarian’s teeth were just as clenched.

 

“Because you are still wanted and there aren’t as many Cathar on Zakuul as you’d like to think.” Theron could feel his forehead twitching.

 

Tarian narrowed her eyes and continued glaring.

 

“Are you implying I can’t take care of myself?” She was tired of everybody in the Alliance babying her. Even Gault was babying her since Torian came back and it was annoying as fuck.

 

“What I’m implying is that you need somebody to help you in case you run into too much trouble.” Theron knew by the way Tarian’s nostrils flared that she did not take his suggestion in the way he wanted.

 

Tarian growled. “Fine, since I’m so useless as to constantly need help I’ll ask somebody to be my babysitter.”

 

Theron opened his mouth to refute her reasoning, she growled at him again, he shut his mouth.

 

Tarian clenched her fists, wanting to strike out at Theron, but she didn’t. Instead, she growled again, turned around, and left the war room.

 

Sighing, Theron rubbed his temples. “Damage control. I need to do damage control.” He pulled out his datapad to try and find where Gault was, something about the Devaronian freaked Theron out and Theron really didn’t want to be on the man’s bad side.

 

He shuddered. No, he did not want to anger Gault. Not after what the man kept doing to Torian.

 

#

 

Tarian stalked into the military hanger, heading straight for Aric.

 

“Major Jorgan,” she growled through gritted teeth, “would you mind being my **_guardian_** for a recruitment mission to Zakuul.”

 

“Sure.” Aric wondered at the word guardian, but he figured he’d ask for clarity later.

 

“When will you be free to leave?” Tarian’s forehead twitched.

 

“Give me two hours.” Aric flicked his gaze to Bey’wan. “We can take my ship, since it’s faster.”

 

“Sounds like a plan.” Tarian growled again.

 

Turning on her heel, she stalked out of the hangar.

 

Aric and Bey’wan exchanged glances.

 

“Do you have any idea?” Aric asked his friend.

 

Bey’wan shook his head. “Not a clue.”

 

Aric frowned.

 

“Gault.” The two men said at the same time.

 

“He on base right now?” Aric pinched the bridge of his nose. 

 

“Yeah, hanging out with Hylo.” Bey’wan thought that the whole Gault-Hylo couple thing was weird. Very weird.

 

Aric nodded once before heading towards the export hangar -since Hylo refused to be called a smuggler. Gault would know exactly what was wrong with Tarian. 


	31. Chapter 31

The Havoc ship was huge. Seriously, Tarian was jealous. If she’d had a ship this big when she was still a simple bounty hunter, she could’ve handled loads more bounties. Loads.

 

“Your ship is huge, Aric.” Tarian told him as he wandered into the main room from the cockpit.

 

“Yeah. It’s a lot bigger than the original.” Aric sometimes missed the Thunderclap.

 

“The original? You mean Havoc hasn’t always had this ship?” She turned to look up at him.

 

Shaking his head, Aric leaned against the holoterminal. “No, it was after Beirgin disappeared, and the original ship was too well known. So, when I was promoted, we got this one.”

 

Tarian chewed her bottom lip. They never talked about her cousin. Mentions here and there but never outright talked to about him. 

 

Aric and Tarian stared at each other.

 

“He’s the one bounty I took but never completed.” Tarian whispered.

 

“What?”

 

“Beirgin. The Hero of Havoc. The Empire wanted him gone. Offered up a huge bounty to anybody that could get rid of him.” She spoke quickly. “But he was my cousin. I know I’m a horrible Cathar. Never followed any of the traditions. Became a fucking Mandalorian. A slap in the face of what it means to be Cathar. But he was my cousin. And there’s one thing that Cathar and Mandalorians can agree on its family is everything.” She glanced away before glancing back. 

 

“I always made sure to accept the bounty, but I never followed through. It annoyed my crew to no end. I never told them why it was always incomplete.” Tarian began pacing, chewing on her thumbnail. “Most bounties have a time constraint. There’s only so long you get to have the contract before it expires. For Beirgin, his contract was three months. I’d keep saying I was looking into it; I was waiting for the perfect time. We’d be on the same planet as Havoc. I’d half-ass track him, then say some bullshit answer about how the shot wasn’t good and I wouldn’t get paid for killing the rest of Havoc, only him and I’m not going to kill somebody I didn’t have to.” Pacing faster, her hands rubbing up and down her arms. “The bounty would time out of course. And for about a month, it wouldn’t go back up just in case the hunter that had the contract still somehow pulled it off before the contract could be taken again. And again, I’d get it.” She flicked her eyes to Aric’s before looking back at her feet as she paced. “Over and over. Never telling anybody that Beirgin was my cousin. Mako probably knew because she knew everything. I never even told Torian. And I was married to him.” 

 

Tarian laughed nervously. “It was a lie, you know. About not being paid to kill the other members of Havoc. Each member had their own extra bounty. Yours being the most expensive because other than Bear-bear you were the deadliest.” She met his gaze again before once more sliding away. “But each bounty contract was only ever opened by me, Mako made sure of that. And it wasn’t that I wouldn’t get paid if I killed any other member of Havoc, they had their own bounties, it was just preferred that those bounties be in conjunction with Bear-bear’s. But still. I never killed or even tried to kill anybody from Havoc. I always made sure to keep the contracts until they timed out. It was the least I could do, despite being a shitty relative and a blood-traitor.”

 

She probably would’ve continued pacing is Aric hadn’t stopped her with a gentle hand on her arm.

 

“Kurva’ri,” he stopped, seeing the agony on her face, “thank you. And if Beirgin was here, he’d thank you too.”

 

Tarian sniffed, tears welling in her eyes. “Really?”

 

“Really.” Aric kissed her forehead. 

 

#

 

For a ship so huge, it had no sleeping quarters, just a massive room.

 

Tarian had no idea why she felt so awkward sleeping in the same room with Aric, let alone the same bed. 

 

But the very real conversation earlier made it--well, she didn’t know what it made.

 

Aric didn’t snore, and he was a cuddler. Tarian liked being cuddled. She loved it.

 

Torian never enjoyed cuddling. He said it made him too hot. Even on Hoth. Tarian had taken it at face value. And why wouldn’t she? She was a Cathar, covered in fur, of course, cuddling with her would make him hot.

 

Sighing, she traced patterns on Aric’s bare chest. He was twelve years older than her. Forty-two years old and still in peak physical condition. Maybe it was because he was still in the military? 

 

And Aric was sweet. He made her caf that one morning and he hadn’t even known her. He came to offer comfort after her miscarriage caused by a combination of lingering effects of carbonite sickness and Arcann’s lightsaber.

 

Yes, she finally admitted. She more than liked Aric Jorgan. That was why she wasn’t completely heartbroken when she found out Torian had remarried.

 

But she was divorced. And divorce just wasn’t done in Cathar culture. Any self-respecting Cathar could never be with a divorcee. 

 

Discontented, she turned away from Aric, scooting to the other side of the mattress. 


	32. Chapter 32

Aric frowned at Gault. Once again, the Devaronian was taking up space at Aric’s lunch table.

 

“Can I help you?” Aric just once wanted to eat in peace.

 

“Anything interesting happen on Zakuul?” Gault peered lecherously at Aric.

 

“Tarian tried roast mowvarr.” Aric hadn’t wanted to try it, it looked disgusting.

 

Gault sighed dramatically. “You’re no fun.”

 

Aric shrugged; he hadn’t been aware he was supposed to be fun.

 

“So, my little girl told you nothing of her divorce?” Gault had been studying Aric for a while now, ever since Gault had joined the Alliance, almost two years ago, and he’d noticed that Aric Jorgan had a sweet spot for Tarian.

 

Aric barely stopped himself from choking on his food. “No, she didn’t mention it.” The Cathar was beginning to wonder if Tarian ever told him anything at all.

 

Gault frowned. “Of course, she wouldn’t.” He scoffed. “Cathar don’t divorce. Why would she have brought up the fact that she’s a divorcee to a fellow Cathar?” 

 

“Mandalorians divorce?” Aric knew nothing about Mandalorian culture, Tarian’s adopted culture.

 

“Yeah.” Gault shrugged. “Although, she now probably feels like a double failure. Bad at being a Mandalorian and a Cathar.”

 

Aric scoffed. “I don’t care she’s divorced. They weren’t Life-mates.” 

 

The silence at the table was immediately pregnant and that’s when Aric realized what he said. What it implied.

 

Aric met Gault’s gaze. 

 

“I’m glad that as a fellow Cathar you don’t care.” There was a strange quality to Gault’s voice. “There’s a reason why only five people know she’s divorced.”

 

Aric looked around the cantina, it was empty per usual. He only ever ate if the cantina was empty. “Five people?”

 

“Six now, I suppose.” The Devaronian tapped his fist against the table. “Lana, Theron, myself, yourself, Blizz, and Torian. Tar doesn’t count.” He scratched his chin. "Although, Torian might not count either. Meh!" The Devaronian shrugged.

 

Aric looked away. “Why are you telling me?”

 

“Well,” Gault leaned forward, close enough to whisper, “since you’ve dedicated time and effort to her emotional wellbeing, I figured you had a right to know.”

 

Aric said nothing.

 

Gault clapped Aric in the shoulder and left.


End file.
